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Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion? v.2

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion? v. 2
The world is advancing very rapidly with new innovations and also in terms of the mindset of humans. The old orthodox beliefs are changing and many agree that in todays world, both men and women stand on the same path and are able to perform any job equally well. There are still people who contradict this and think that there are certain jobs which only men can perform. This essay will provide evidence as to why women are equal as men and can perform any job they want. Previously, when the world was not developed there were only limited types of jobs available to fulfil mans basic necessities. This included farming, looking after their family, and providing basic needs of life, hence these were divided conveniently between these two genders where men were to do all the hard work and women to complete household chores. But as the world is progressing in terms of technology, there has been various new types of jobs emerging and this can be done by anyone well educated for it. Women were not allowed to complete their education because of which they were unable to work as per their choice. But nowadays education has become very important and both genders are equally supported for the same. For instance, you can see women in all the fields let it be politics or space or even driving. Women were not considered strong enough to handle the construction works or any hard jobs, but this can be proved wrong as many women have achieved a lot of success in this fields. Women have also shined in the sports category which was very rare in the past. For instance Sania Mirza had achieved a lot of success in tennis. In conclusion, though it was believed previously that there are some job reserved for men, it is not the case now and women can choose to work in any field of their choice.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is advancing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
with new innovations and
also
in terms of the mindset of humans. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
orthodox beliefs are changing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
stand on the same path and are able to perform any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
equally
well. There are
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who contradict this and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can perform. This essay will provide evidence as to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are equal as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and can perform any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they want.

Previously, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
was not developed there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
available to fulfil
'mans' refers to the verb 'man' meaning take command of something. Did you mean "men" or "man's"?
mans
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
. This included farming, looking after their family, and providing basic needs of life,
hence
these
were divided
conveniently
between these two genders where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were to do all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to complete household chores.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is progressing in terms of technology, there has been various new types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
emerging and this can
be done
by anyone
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
for it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to complete their education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they were unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as per their choice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays education has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and both genders are
equally
supported for the same.
For instance
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in all the fields
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it be politics or space or even driving.

Women were not considered strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle the construction works or any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can
be proved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
success in
Did you mean "these"?
this
fields.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
have
also
shined in the sports category which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare in the past.
For instance
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sania
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mirza
had achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
success in tennis.

In conclusion
, though it
was believed
previously that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "jobs"?
job
reserved for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, it is not the case
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in any field of their choice.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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