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Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

When it comes to online teaching, different people have different attitudes. While some people believe that it is detrimental for universities and colleges to offer online lessons instead of teaching students in the classroom, I would argue that the benefits of this development is more desirable. It is possibly true that providing qualifications through online learning could produce disadvantages, one of which is that teachers could not deal with students’ question in time. It is common that most of the students studying online usually listen to their teacher merely and seldom dare to ask teacher if they any question. Conversely, in the classroom, every students could be well observed by their teachers. If they have any problems, their teachers could quickly recognize and stop to help them solve. However, this drawback are able to be solved. This is because students could turn on the computer camera so that teachers could find that whether students have any confusion. Then, the reason that I am in this position is that such development could be beneficial for both students and teachers. On the one hand, it is more likely for students to ask their teachers for help through Internet. It is due to the fact that students might feel stressful when they communicate with their teachers face-to-face. Therefore, consulting online could perfectly solve this problem like sending email to their teachers or even asking them on WeChat. On the other hand, it is a good approach for teachers to win more free time. As we all know, it is time-consuming to commute to work and home every day especially during rush hour. By teaching online, lecturers could have more leisure time to engage in their work like helping students to deal with their problems or do some entertainments to relax themselves. In conclusion, I am in the position that although providing qualifications online would bring negative effects, it is more advantageous than teaching in the classroom. Wish universities and colleges could proper way to offer teaching.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitudes. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is detrimental for universities and colleges to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
lessons
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the classroom, I would argue that the benefits of this development is more desirable.

It is
possibly
true that providing qualifications through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning could produce disadvantages, one of which is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
could not deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
question in time. It is common that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
usually
listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
merely
and seldom dare to ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
if
It seems that a verb is missing. Did you mean “they have” or “they do”?
they
any question.
Conversely
, in the classroom, every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “student”?
students
could be well observed by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. If they have any problems, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
could
quickly
recognize and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them solve.
However
, this drawback are able to
Avoid the passive voice after ‘to be able to’.
be solved
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could turn on the computer camera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
could find that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have any confusion.

Then, the reason that I am in this position is that such development could be beneficial for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. On the one hand, it is more likely for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to ask their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
through Internet. It is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might feel stressful when they communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
face-to-face.
Therefore
, consulting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
could
perfectly
solve this problem like sending email to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or even asking them on WeChat.
On the other hand
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to win more free time. As we all know, it is time-consuming to commute to work and home every day
especially
during rush hour. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, lecturers could have more leisure time to engage in their work like helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to deal with their problems or do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainments to relax themselves.

In conclusion
, I am in the position that although providing qualifications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
would bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, it is more advantageous than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
in the classroom. Wish universities and colleges could proper way to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
.
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Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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