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All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.6

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. v. 6
Parents always have the best interests of children at their heart. It is believed by some that children ought to learn skills at school, while others believe they will benefit more, if a variety of subjects are taught. In my opinion, I consider that having an understanding of a broad range of subjects is the key to a child's future. On the one hand, it is considered by some that schools should focus on teaching children skills. Non-academic skills are important for an overall development of a child, in other words, they need to learn how to co-operate with others. Since we do not live, work or socialize in isolation, these skills will help them succeed in school and later in life when they will be part of a team environment. For instance, learning to communicate effectively with others and to resolve conflicts and confrontations are skills that will stand them in good stead in their future. On the other hand, some believe and I agree that schools need to emphasize on a varied curriculum. Students nowadays, are faced with a lot of competition and exposing them to a variety of subjects is the key to a successful future. At this age, children are keen learners and observers and therefore, can learn concepts and fundamentals of all topics much more easily and effectively. As a result, they will develop a broad understanding, which will benefit them academically as well as later on in life to be successful in whatever profession they choose. Consequently, this will shape them to be well balanced and rounded individuals who are ready to take on the challenging job market. In conclusion, parents desire the best for their children and schools can play an important role towards it, and I believe that the ideal way to ensure a child's future is by having a curriculum that focuses on a broad range of subjects.
Parents always have the best interests of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at their heart. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, while others believe they will benefit more, if a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are taught
. In my opinion, I consider that having an understanding of a broad range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is the key to a child's future.

On the one hand, it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should focus on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an
overall
development of a child, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they need to learn how to co-operate with others. Since we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, work or socialize in isolation, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and later in life when they will be part of a team environment.
For instance
, learning to communicate
effectively
with others and to resolve conflicts and confrontations are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that will stand them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead in their future.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
need to emphasize on a varied curriculum. Students nowadays,
are faced
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
competition and exposing them to a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is the key to a successful future. At this age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are keen learners and observers and
therefore
, can learn concepts and fundamentals of all topics much more
easily
and
effectively
.
As a result
, they will develop a broad understanding, which will benefit them
academically
as well
as later on in life to be successful in whatever profession they choose.
Consequently
, this will shape them to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well balanced
and rounded individuals who are ready to take on the challenging job market.

In conclusion
, parents desire the best for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role towards it, and I believe that the ideal way to ensure a child's future is by having a curriculum that focuses on a broad range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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