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Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. v. 1
This essay will discuss the issue of taxing high-fat products. While some people see this as a solution for the growing amount of obese humans, others think it is not fair and not necessary to make unhealthy foods cost more. I will discuss both sides of the matter and give my opinion on it. On one side of the argument people say that legislation to make unhealthy foods more expensive will help individual people make better and healthier choices. Despite the fact that it is common knowledge that fruit and vegetables are healthier, a lot of people cannot stand the temptation of cheap and sugar and fat rich products when they are shopping. On the other hand, people say that it is unfair to make customers pay more for food that can be bad for their health, because it will hurt poor people more than rich ones. There is a group of people who can only afford cheap food. These kind of measurements will hit them hard and besides that it is said that such a tax is also unnecessary, because there are lots of other things the government can do to make society have a better food consumption pattern, like education about food and its effect on peoples’ health. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have their merits, but in my opinion a ‘fat tax’ can definitely help people to make better choices. Money is always a strong director when it comes to choices and especially when it comes to food consumption, population health can become much better.
This essay will discuss the issue of taxing high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
products. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this as a solution for the growing amount of obese humans, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and not necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
cost more. I will discuss both sides of the matter and give my opinion on it.

On one side of the argument
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that legislation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
more expensive will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and healthier choices. Despite the fact that it is common knowledge that fruit and vegetables are healthier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot stand the temptation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and sugar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
rich products when they are shopping.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that it is unfair to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
customers pay more for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will hurt poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more than rich ones. There is a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
afford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of measurements will hit them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
besides
that it
is said
that such a tax is
also
unnecessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are lots of other things the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can do to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
society have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption pattern, like education about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and its effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
health.

In conclusion
, both sides of the argument have their merits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion a ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
tax’ can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
choices. Money is always a strong director when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to choices and
especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption, population health can become much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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