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Some people believe that the government should not spend money on international aid when they have their own disadvantaged people like homeless and unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that payout on international support has a negative impact on locals. A Lion's share of the society avers it; However, the rest go favors it. the following paragraphs would highlight my personal perspective. I see eye to eye with central ideas for various reasons, First and foremost, Globalization helps to adopt new technology and skills for overall development of the country. As a result, developing countries can obtain various methods for faster growth and enhance their technical ability to words the global market. Secondly, dealing with developing countries helps in economic growth, spending less and gaining more profit for the value. Thus, local trades can earn more money over the less investments. Adding a couple of more things, international help can build great relationships with powerful nations. To substantiate it, I would like to quote an epitome of emergency conditions like during the covid 19 many countries help each other in terms of meditation and vaccination as result of their strong bonding. Last but not least, exchanging trading help to increase local interest of tourism in the country. This will open many doors of locals to create more employment. On the loggers head, some critics go in favour of the state idea, giving employment to international employees creates unemployment in locals. This is some way unfair to their struggles. Moreover, international aid can create a new culture in the country, that can generate the culture difference in both communities. The communication gaps also crates in workplaces and as result the outcome came as not predictable. All the above discussed assertions lead to the conclusion that, government should invest in international help keeping in mind the local unemployment rate. taking help of other countries in weak areas of local communities can help countries to grow more and positively on both economically and technologically.
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that payout on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
support has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. A Lion's share of the society avers it;
However
, the rest go favors it. the following paragraphs would highlight my personal perspective.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for various reasons,
First
and foremost, Globalization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to adopt new technology and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for
overall
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
As a result
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can obtain various methods for faster growth and enhance their technical ability to words the global market.
Secondly
, dealing with developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in economic growth, spending less and gaining more profit for the value.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trades can earn more money over the
Did you mean “fewer”? The noun investments is countable.
less
investments.

Adding a couple of more things,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
can build great relationships with powerful nations. To substantiate it, I would like to quote an epitome of emergency conditions like during the
Did you mean “COVID-19” or the alternative spelling “Covid-19” (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other in terms of meditation and vaccination as result of their strong bonding. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, exchanging trading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
interest of tourism in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This will open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to create more employment.

On the loggers head,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics go in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, giving employment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
employees creates unemployment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way unfair to their struggles.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
aid can create a new culture in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, that can generate the culture difference in both communities. The communication gaps
also
crates in workplaces and as result the outcome came as not predictable.

All the above discussed assertions lead to the conclusion that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
keeping in mind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
unemployment rate.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in weak areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to grow more and
positively
on both
economically
and
technologically
.
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IELTS essay Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their country, such as the unemployed and homeless.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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