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Scientists agree that people are harming their health by eating too much fat food. Some people think that the solution to this problem is to make people aware of the problems. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Scientists agree that people are harming their health by eating too much fat food. Some people think that the solution to this problem is to make people aware of the problems. Others think education will not work. v. 1
Excessive consumption of fatty foods leads to a lot of health problems. Some people believe that creating awareness about the health consequences of junk food is the solution to this problem. Others, however, feel that other measures are required to tackle this issue. In my opinion, creating awareness is important but that alone will not work. Most people lead a hectic life these days. They do not have the time or energy to cook proper meals. As a result, they subsist on fast food. Many of them are actually aware of the ill effects of fast food; yet they consume it because they prefer convenience to health. Such people will not stop eating junk foods even if the government launches awareness campaigns against such foods. There are also some people who consume fast food because they are ignorant of the consequences of fast food consumption. Awareness campaigns will work best amongst them. As we have seen, in many cases lack of awareness is not the factor that encourages the consumption of fast foods. Therefore other actions are also required to deal with this problem. People who eat fast food in spite of knowing that it is unhealthy may stop eating it if the government makes it unaffordable by increasing taxes on it. Even this measure will not deter wealthy people from consuming fast foods. Perhaps a better solution is to make healthy food more affordable and accessible. The government can perhaps open eateries that serve healthy food at reasonable prices. In Tamil Nadu, for example, there are state funded canteens that serve healthy foods for a nominal price. When healthy options are available conveniently at least some people will give up fast food. To conclude, creating awareness about the harmful effects of fast foods is certainly important but it will not solve the problem. In addition to creating awareness, the government has to take measures that make fast foods unaffordable and healthy foods more accessible.
Excessive consumption of fatty
foods
leads to
a lot of
health
problems
.
Some
people
believe that
creating
awareness
about the health consequences of junk
food
is the solution to this
problem
. Others,
however
, feel that other measures
are required
to tackle this issue. In my opinion,
creating
awareness
is
important
but
that alone will not work.

Most
people
lead a hectic life these days. They do not have the time or energy to cook proper meals.
As a result
, they subsist on
fast
food
.
Many
of them are actually aware of the ill effects of
fast
food
;
yet
they consume it
because
they prefer convenience to health. Such
people
will not
stop
eating junk
foods
even if the
government
launches
awareness
campaigns against such
foods
. There are
also
some
people
who consume
fast
food
because
they are ignorant of the consequences of
fast
food
consumption.
Awareness
campaigns will work best amongst them.

As we have
seen
, in
many
cases lack of
awareness
is not the factor that encourages the consumption of
fast
foods
.
Therefore
other actions are
also
required to deal with this
problem
.
People
who eat
fast
food
in spite of
knowing that it is unhealthy may
stop
eating it if the
government
makes
it unaffordable by increasing taxes on it. Even this measure will not deter wealthy
people
from consuming
fast
foods
. Perhaps a better solution is to
make
healthy
food
more affordable and accessible. The
government
can perhaps open eateries that serve
healthy
food
at reasonable prices. In Tamil Nadu,
for example
, there are state funded canteens that serve
healthy
foods
for a nominal price.
When
healthy
options are available
conveniently
at least
some
people
will give up
fast
food.

To conclude
,
creating
awareness
about the harmful effects of
fast
foods
is
certainly
important
but
it will not solve the
problem
.
In addition
to
creating
awareness
, the
government
has to
take measures that
make
fast
foods
unaffordable and
healthy
foods
more accessible.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists agree that people are harming their health by eating too much fat food. Some people think that the solution to this problem is to make people aware of the problems. Others think education will not work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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