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Scientists agree that people are harming their health by eating too much fat food. Some people think that the solution to this problem is to make people aware of the problems. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Scientists agree that people are harming their health by eating too much fat food. Some people think that the solution to this problem is to make people aware of the problems. Others think education will not work. v. 2
Researchers around the globe has recently reported that the individuals are destroying their health by over consumption of junk food. While few people believe that this issue can be controlled through public awareness, whereas others consider that such systematic instructions are of no use. This essay will examine both the points. I, However believes that community healthcare awareness should be given to public on poor dietary habits and its consequences. On the one hand, gut busting meal served in fast food restaurants is placing human fitness at risk. As many people are unaware of a healthy diet, proper awareness should be given to individuals regarding the ensuing diseases caused due to long term intake of carbohydrate rich meals. The public health centres should conduct camps where people can consult the medical team for free cost. Also, appropriate dietary instructions and fitness exercises can be advised. Moreover, media and celebrities can influence the public by sharing their fitness routines and low fat diet charts. Thus, the young generation may get motivated. On the other hand, some people are addicted to carbohydrate enriched eatables. It has become an integral part of their lifestyle. Although they are aware about the leading problems like obesity, diabetes, cholesterol affecting human well-being, they fail to keep a portion control over such cuisine habits. Provided that, people ignore any kind of instructions given to them and are least bothered about their physical well being. For instance, while watching television, if they happen to come across any health and fitness programme they will switch the channel. In conclusion, I believe that unhealthy eating practice can be controlled to an extent through appropriate systematic guidance.
Researchers around the globe has recently reported that the individuals are destroying their health by over consumption of junk food. While few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this issue can
be controlled
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness, whereas others consider that such systematic instructions are of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. This essay will examine both the points. I,
However
believes that community healthcare awareness should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
on poor dietary habits and its consequences.

On the one hand, gut busting meal served in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food restaurants is placing human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware of a healthy diet, proper awareness should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to individuals regarding the ensuing diseases caused due to long term intake of carbohydrate rich meals. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should conduct camps where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can consult the medical team for free cost.
Also
, appropriate dietary instructions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
exercises can
be advised
.
Moreover
, media and celebrities can influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
by sharing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
routines and low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
diet charts.
Thus
, the young generation may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
to carbohydrate enriched eatables. It has become an integral part of their lifestyle. Although they are aware about the leading problems like obesity, diabetes, cholesterol affecting human well-being, they fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a portion control over such cuisine habits. Provided that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
any kind of instructions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them and are least bothered about their physical
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
For instance
, while watching television, if they happen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across any health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
they will switch the channel.

In conclusion
, I believe that unhealthy eating practice can
be controlled
to an extent through appropriate systematic guidance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Scientists agree that people are harming their health by eating too much fat food. Some people think that the solution to this problem is to make people aware of the problems. Others think education will not work. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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