Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. others sat that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.11

some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. others sat that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 11
A few people believe that, due to increase in technology and advancement, mobile phones and tablets should be preferred to watch a movie with an easy access. In contrast, some say cinema houses are more suitable, they provide wider screen, clear vision and more audibility other than electronic gadgets. In my strong conviction, it depends on person to person according to their requirements and resources. Firstly, the rapid increase in mobile manufacturing companies had drastically changed the scenario by indulging youth completely into habit of electronic gadgets. To illustrate, a survey was conducted by the Youth Council of India in 2018, they observed, 97% of the total population were interested to watch movies online despite of PVR shows, furthermore, mobile operators are also providing easy access to all the applications, for instance, Netflix and Amazon prime, where teenagers can enjoy films on a one touch without even downloading. As a result, one can watch movie effortlessly as well as handily without spending a single penny. Secondly, a few number were still interested in big screens. According to the article in the 2013 Edition, the author highlighted various positive impacts of watching cinema, he summarised adults were more in number in comparison to youngsters, because, theaters provide a wider and better display and moreover clear visibility and audibility. Additionally, they can spend more quality time together and could become socially active. Finally, producers could get reviews of the movie on the same date of the release as well as suggestions for improvements in cinema industries. To conclude, both the aspects plays an equally important role, because every individual have different perspectives. Electronic gadgets are more reliable than theaters, watching a live show or a film is quite affordable and pocket-friendly. Thus, people should not worry about location setting and particularly time-constraints.
A few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that, due to increase in technology and advancement, mobile phones and tablets should
be preferred
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
with
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "easy access".
an easy access
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say cinema
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are more suitable, they provide wider screen,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
vision and more audibility other than electronic gadgets. In my strong conviction, it depends on person to person according to their requirements and resources.

Firstly
, the rapid increase in mobile manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
had
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the scenario by indulging youth completely into habit of electronic gadgets. To illustrate, a survey
was conducted
by the Youth Council of India in 2018, they observed, 97% of the total population
were interested
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
online
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
PVR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
furthermore
, mobile operators are
also
providing easy access to all the applications,
for instance
, Netflix and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Amazon prime
, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can enjoy films on a one touch without even downloading.
As a result
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
effortlessly
as well
as
handily
without spending a single penny.

Secondly
, a
Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: "few numbers".
few number
were
still
interested in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screens. According to the article in the 2013 Edition, the author highlighted various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of watching cinema, he
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarised' is British English.
summarised
adults were more in number
in comparison
to youngsters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, theaters provide a wider and better display and
moreover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
visibility and audibility.
Additionally
, they can spend more quality time together and could become
socially
active.
Finally
, producers could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reviews of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on the same date of the release
as well
as suggestions for improvements in cinema industries.

To conclude
, both the aspects plays an
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every individual have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives. Electronic gadgets are more reliable than theaters, watching a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
or a film is quite affordable and pocket-friendly.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not worry about location setting and
particularly
time-constraints.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. others sat that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts