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Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child's natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education systems? Is traditional education doing more harm than good? v.4

Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child's natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education systems? Is traditional education doing more harm than good? v. 4
The current ways of teaching in schools is an issue of controversy. Older teaching methods are out-dated and sometimes hinder the innate development of students. Many proponents of modern education have strived for a radical overhaul of the current education paradigm. There are possible amendments that can be implemented in the contemporary schooling system to bring desired changes, as the amateur system is malicious. Two primary amendments that can be introduced are technology-based education and more practical and real-time techniques. Modern schools should use a more tech-based curriculum. As more pupils are computer literate and use gadgets in their real life, Education boards should exercise high-tech methods instead of older books based education. For example- education policymakers should focus on eBooks and computers to deliver lectures and assignments, which will be more adaptable for children. Moreover, teachers and professors should adopt the modern practical delivery approach. For instance, schools can benefit students by demonstrating theories in labs as compared to just writing them in books. Old school education is a deterrent towards the current and future students as it is not enough to keep pace with ever-changing technology and ideology of the general public. For example, most schools prohibit their attendees from bringing cellphones in their premises. However, Students in today' s society are more intrigued towards smartphones than older-style books. The moratorium on mobile phones makes students less interested in studies. Colleges and schools should find rational ways so that they can create enthusiasm among the young generation. To encapsulate, I think, by doing necessary adjustments and improvements in the teaching policies, modern policymakers can envisage more efficient schooling systems for future generations.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
ways of teaching in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is an issue of controversy. Older teaching methods are out-dated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
hinder the innate development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
proponents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have strived for a radical overhaul of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
paradigm. There are possible amendments that can
be implemented
in the contemporary schooling system to bring desired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, as the amateur system is malicious.

Two primary amendments that can
be introduced
are technology-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and more practical and real-time techniques.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a more tech-based curriculum. As more pupils are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
computer literate
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
gadgets in their real life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
boards should exercise high-tech methods
instead
of older books based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
policymakers should focus
Possible spelling mistake found.
on eBooks
and computers to deliver lectures and assignments, which will be more adaptable for children.
Moreover
, teachers and professors should adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
practical delivery approach.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by demonstrating theories in labs as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
writing them in books.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a deterrent towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with ever-changing technology and ideology of the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
For example
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
prohibit their attendees from bringing cellphones in their premises.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s society are more intrigued towards smartphones than older-style books. The moratorium on mobile phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
less interested in studies. Colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should find rational ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can create enthusiasm among the young generation.

To encapsulate, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, by doing necessary adjustments and improvements in the teaching policies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
policymakers can envisage more efficient schooling systems for future generations.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child's natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education systems? Is traditional education doing more harm than good? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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