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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.803

The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 803
Rules have an influential and tremendous impact on our lives. In fact, it is vitally important to start educating our children society standard rules and how they should follow them in order for the best results to follow suits as they are the pillars and the power that will guide our nation toward progress. However, due to the revolutionary impact of the new technology that has a spectacular breakthrough many spheres in our communities such as the innovations of smartphones or Ipads that sometimes, reflects negatively on kids' future personalities. Therefore, I totally disagree with this statement that said the rules that the kids should follow are tough because parents are unable to enter their lives and give opinions to their children like before. the explanations go as follows. To begin with, parents eagerly seek that their children carve out the beneficial knowledge that is deemed as a lighting guide to achieve their goals. Indeed, these days, they are allowed to purchase new devices that lead to a tremendous distraction of their minds because they will tempt to employ them in an inappropriate time such as at school without paying attention to their professor' rules. For instance, instead of focusing on teachers' valuable lessons, they will play video games or check their social media such as the Facebook or Twitter which will lead to creating a toxic atmosphere not conducive to acquiring knowledge. Therefore, they are sway to do whatever they want to do without any restriction. Consequently, kids have their own lives these days, they do not care what their teachers or guardian say. Second, televisions in this modern life are filled with violence and illusion that may cause a bad impact on children moralities and behaviors which will, in turn, affect negatively their attitude toward the social norms and rules of our societies. In fact, they squander most of their leisure time watching movies and violent programs. For example, I feel that when I was twelve years old, I was so obedient and not stubborn to hear advice from my parents or my teachers. However, after five years, I began to admire an idol I watched by tv and such a passion massed unethical and bad attitude of the actors that led twist my view of life and created of me a selfish person unable to follow the rules like before. In conclusion, due to what accompanied the tv, children not keep the rules in their mind, but, instead, they have a tendency to follow celebrities. To sum up, the government should have the obligation to legislate rules to prevent the children having access to a vast array of movies or the new innovations until they become more mature because this will lead tribble consequences on their demeanor.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rules
have an influential and tremendous impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In fact, it is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
educating our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
society standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and how they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them in order for the best results to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
suits as they are the pillars and the power that will guide our nation toward progress.
However
, due to the revolutionary impact of the new technology that has a spectacular breakthrough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spheres in our communities such as the innovations of smartphones or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipads
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, reflects
negatively
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
kids&
#039; future personalities.
Therefore
, I
totally
disagree with this statement that said the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that the kids should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
are tough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents are unable to enter their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and give opinions to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
explanations go as follows.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, parents
eagerly
seek that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
carve out the beneficial knowledge that
is deemed
as a lighting guide to achieve their goals.
Indeed
, these days, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
new devices that lead to a tremendous distraction of their minds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will tempt to employ them in an inappropriate time such as at school without paying attention to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
professor&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
For instance
,
instead
of focusing on
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachers&
#039; valuable lessons, they will play video games or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their social media such as the Facebook or Twitter which will lead to creating a toxic atmosphere not conducive to acquiring knowledge.
Therefore
, they are sway to do whatever they want to do without any restriction.
Consequently
, kids have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
these days, they do not care what their teachers or guardian say.

Second, televisions in this modern life
are filled
with violence and illusion that may cause a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
moralities and behaviors which will, in turn, affect
negatively
their attitude toward the social norms and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of our societies. In fact, they squander most of their leisure time watching movies and violent programs.
For example
, I feel that when I was twelve years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
obedient and not stubborn to hear advice from my parents or my teachers.
However
, after five years, I began to admire an idol I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and such a passion massed unethical and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
attitude of the actors that led twist my view of life and created of me a selfish person unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In conclusion
, due to what accompanied the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in their mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
instead
, they have a tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
celebrities.

To sum up, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have the obligation to legislate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having access to a vast array of movies or the new innovations until they become more mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will lead
Possible spelling mistake found.
tribble
consequences on their demeanor.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 803

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
460 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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