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Home-schooling via the Internet is gaining some popularity nowadays and one might argue that schooling should be made optional. What does that mean for the future of education? v.1

Home-schooling via the Internet is gaining some popularity nowadays and one might argue that schooling should be made optional. What does that mean for the future of education? v. 1
In the contemporary world, with the recent and exponential advancement in information technology, knowledge is just a few fingers-click away. Home-schooling via the Internet is gaining some popularity nowadays and one might argue that schooling should be made optional. What does that mean for the future of education? I still stay on my ground and fully give my vote to the traditional schooling culture. Firstly, the internet can be just as dangerous as it can be informative. To expand this further, use of the net can be informative or harmful depending on the intention of the user, with the latter being more dominant. For example, various researches and surveys reveal that a staggering 97% of internet data traffic is consumed by pornography. And this is just at the superficial level (Darknet not being considered). Pornography, weapons, alcohol, drugs, selling and the sorts of illegal websites, as well as gaming addiction, can deeply influence young minds in a very negative way. This would result in a complete catastrophe for our future generation. Would you want to leave such a powerful and fragile tool in the hand of a child? Secondly, the school itself plays a very vital role in education which simply just cannot be replaced with computers. To support this, I would like to emphasise the fact that tutors at educational facilities are professionally trained personnel. They are aware of the school curriculum and can provide effective teaching service in accordance to the capabilities of children, and can give more attention to the less bright minds if needed. This is just not possible with self-study at home. Moreover, children learn to interact with each other coming from various social levels and cultural backgrounds which itself is a whole new learning experience. This results in overall brain and social development of a child. As a conclusion, I would like to reiterate the points of data mishandling, addiction, lack of growth monitoring, and social interaction are some of the major hurdles in the way. I completely disagree with this concept of home-schooling via the internet. While it may be a possibility in the future, the ever-old worldwide tradition of schooling is at the moment inevitable and should remain compulsory.
In the contemporary world, with the recent and exponential advancement in information technology, knowledge is
just
a few fingers-click away. Home-schooling via the Internet is gaining
some
popularity nowadays and one might argue that schooling should
be made
optional. What does that mean for the future of education? I
still
stay on my ground and
fully
give my vote to the traditional schooling culture.

Firstly
, the internet can be
just
as
dangerous
as it can be informative. To expand this
further
,
use
of the net can be informative or harmful depending on the intention of the user, with the latter being more dominant.
For example
, various researches and surveys reveal that a staggering 97% of internet data traffic
is consumed
by pornography. And this is
just
at the superficial level (
Darknet
not
being considered
). Pornography, weapons, alcohol, drugs, selling and the sorts of illegal websites,
as well
as gaming addiction, can
deeply
influence young minds in a
very
negative
way. This would result in a complete catastrophe for our future generation. Would you want to
leave
such a powerful and fragile tool in the hand of a child?

Secondly
, the school itself plays a
very
vital role in education which
simply
just
cannot
be replaced
with computers. To support this, I would like to
emphasise
the fact that tutors at educational facilities are
professionally
trained personnel. They are aware of the school curriculum and can provide effective teaching service in accordance to the capabilities of children, and can give more attention to the less bright minds if needed. This is
just
not possible with self-study at home.
Moreover
, children learn to interact with each other coming from various social levels and cultural backgrounds which itself is a whole new learning experience. This results in
overall
brain and social development of a child.

As a conclusion, I would like to reiterate the points of data mishandling, addiction, lack of growth monitoring, and social interaction are
some of the
major hurdles in the way. I completely disagree with this concept of home-schooling via the internet. While it may be a possibility in the future, the ever-
old
worldwide tradition of schooling is at the moment inevitable and should remain compulsory.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Home-schooling via the Internet is gaining some popularity nowadays and one might argue that schooling should be made optional. What does that mean for the future of education? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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