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Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child's natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education systems? Is traditional education doing more harm than good? v.3

Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child's natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education systems? Is traditional education doing more harm than good? v. 3
Friendship is mostly unconditional affection and selfless behaviour to each other. But sadly, at times this kind of attachment creates complication in life which gradually results in misunderstanding of feelings hence ends in break up. However, many people believe that relations are meaningful and special with a pinch of complications. Considering the good side, there are many great qualities of a great friend. A good person will accompany you to celebrate in your rising phase conversely, will listen carefully and offer support and care, in your struggling phase alike an illness, a death in the family, or a failure. For instance, suppose in a race you fall on the ground, a well-being will give his hand to re-stand and encourage to finish it. That's why friends are named as second parents as they always shower you with boundless love, scolds you when wrong and are never judgmental without any self benefits. While on the other side, there are also not good qualities which can lead to weakening of close relations over time. The main culprit can be, when people drift apart due to other important priorities gets in the way. With age comes new responsibilities and thus less opportunity for others. For example, new parents rarely get time for other stuffs other than focusing on their baby. Work also puts pressure. Getting up early in the morning, meeting deadlines, and attending social events can severely limit the amount of friends. Also, without regular contact, a friendship can easily fade. In a nutshell, life is like a roller coaster, many ups and downs will come and pass. My opinion is that, Instead of thinking about complications, a friend should always be motivating his friend in good situation and while in bad scenarios make him understand the mistake and help to fix it. It is well believed that, the most meaningful moments can be created with a loving conversation over a cup of coffee.
Friendship is
mostly
unconditional affection and selfless
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
sadly
, at times this kind of attachment creates complication in life which
gradually
results in misunderstanding of feelings
hence
ends in break up.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that relations are meaningful and special with a pinch of complications.

Considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great qualities of a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
person will accompany you to celebrate in your rising phase
conversely
, will listen
carefully
and offer support and care, in your struggling phase alike an illness, a death in the family, or a failure.
For instance
, suppose in a race you fall on the ground, a well-being will give his hand to re-stand and encourage to finish it. That's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are named
as second parents as they always shower you with boundless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, scolds you when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and are never judgmental without any self benefits.

While on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, there are
also
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
qualities which can lead to weakening of close relations over time. The main culprit can be, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
drift apart due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
priorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
in the way. With age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
new responsibilities and
thus
less opportunity for others.
For example
, new parents rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
stuffs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than focusing on their baby. Work
also
puts pressure. Getting up early in the morning, meeting deadlines, and attending social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can
severely
limit the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Also
, without regular contact, a friendship can
easily
fade.

In a nutshell, life is like a roller coaster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ups and downs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and pass. My opinion is that,
Instead
of thinking about complications, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
should always be motivating his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
situation and while in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
scenarios
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him understand the mistake and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it. It is well believed that, the most meaningful moments can
be created
with a loving conversation over a cup of coffee.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child's natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education systems? Is traditional education doing more harm than good? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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