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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some modern agriculture methods damage environment, people think providing more food for the growing world population is more important that protecting the environment. v.802

Some modern agriculture methods damage environment, people think providing more food for the growing world population is more important that protecting the environment. v. 802
Nowadays, farmers try to use modern methods to improve food productions with high quality. It is believed by researchers that such agriculture methods have harmful effects on the environment and people, but others stand on the other side of the continuum, believing that novel approaches have not a negative impact on their surroundings. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the former perspective. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder. To begin with, the environment should protect by the government because a normal environment has more benefit for people, therefore, they can use it for years, but the damaged environment cause people especially farmers cannot work in it. Therefore, the poor environment has just detriment for people. For example, sometimes farmers use a contemporary system to cultivate more seeds, but they do not pay attention to impacts that this method may have. Farmers use the manner repeatedly and after a while, they will realize that there are no suitable places for sheep grazing and sheep are starting to lose weight. This is a catastrophic issue for everyone because sheep are the most important food source on the land which now damaged by people. As you can see, using modern methods, besides their advantages, have irreparable injuries for the population. Thus, before using a technique we must evaluate its negative dimensions. Secondly, some methods can produce noxious gases in a direct way that these gases have dangerous chemical substances for people. Why is in a direct why? Because farmer use a method like as new pesticides to protect grains against insects or bad atmospheric conditions, but he/she do not know that these materials can be chemical interaction with atmosphere substances. This interaction generates deadly gases in the air then people breathe this air, consequently imported heavily gases into their lungs and they lose their health. This fact demonstrates that agriculturist should consider everything about a process which he/she decide to use it because maybe the method has detrimental influences on the environment and consequently on people. As a result, environmental protection takes a priority over food productions. All in all, taking all reasons and examples into account, I believe that the environment has a critical role in human lives, so we must try to preserve it against anything harmful because otherwise, we will face various problems.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
food productions with high quality. It
is believed
by researchers that such agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
have harmful effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others stand on the other side of the continuum, believing that novel approaches have not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their surroundings. As far as I
am concerned
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former perspective. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint
are elaborated
upon hereunder.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should protect by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has more benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
therefore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the damaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
cannot work in it.
Therefore
, the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
detriment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a contemporary system to cultivate more seeds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not pay attention to impacts that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
may have.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Farmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the manner
repeatedly
and after a while, they will realize that there are no suitable places for sheep grazing and sheep are starting to lose weight. This is a catastrophic issue for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sheep are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
food source on the land which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
damaged by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, using modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
,
besides
their advantages, have irreparable injuries for the population.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
using a technique we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
evaluate its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
dimensions.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
can produce noxious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
Consider replacing "in a direct way" with the adverb for "direct"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a direct way
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
chemical substances for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Why is in a direct why?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
like as new pesticides to protect grains against insects or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
atmospheric conditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he/she do not know that these materials can be chemical interaction with atmosphere substances. This interaction generates deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
in the air then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
breathe this air,
consequently
imported
heavily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
into their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lungs and
they lose their health. This fact demonstrates that agriculturist should consider everything about a process which he/she decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
maybe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
has detrimental influences on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
consequently
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, environmental protection takes a priority over food productions.

All in all, taking all reasons and examples into account, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has a critical role in human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to preserve it against anything harmful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
otherwise
, we will face various problems.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some modern agriculture methods damage environment, people think providing more food for the growing world population is more important that protecting the environment. v. 802

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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