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Some people say that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. Give your opinion. v. 2
Some people believe public fundings should be spent on railways, others think this should be spent on roads. In this essay I will explain the reasons why I agree with this statement. Investing in railways is essential as trains are a more convenient means of transport. Take, for example, one train only is needed to carry thousands of passengers to work, meanwhile, private cars are used by one or two people at a time, increasing the traffic noticeably. Another advantage of trains is the short time it takes to arrive downtown. For instance, in Buenos Aires it would take maybe one hour driving in heavy traffic to get to work neighbouring areas such as Vicente Lopez, whereas by train you would only need 15 to 20 minutes. On the other hand, those who think money should be spent on roads argue that cars can reach places that trains do not. The province of Misiones, in Argentina, is one clear example of this, there, trains have not arrived ever. In spite of this, trains are more environmentally friendly than cars owing to the small amount fumes they emit. To illustrate, the contamination emitted by one car in a 30 kilometre trip equals to 400 kilometres of train ride. In conclusion, whereas roads should be built and looked after by the government to reach far away cities, in my opinion, more money should be spent on building railways and trains as these are fast, convenient and environmentally friendly. Moreover, politicians should always bear in mind ecological and practical aspects to decide where to spend money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe public
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundings
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on railways, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on roads. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Investing in railways is essential as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are a more convenient means of transport. Take,
for example
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is needed
to carry thousands of passengers to work, meanwhile, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by one or two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at a time, increasing the traffic
noticeably
. Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
is the short time it takes to arrive downtown.
For instance
, in Buenos Aires it would take maybe one hour driving in heavy traffic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
areas such as Vicente Lopez, whereas by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need 15 to 20 minutes.

On the other hand
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
money should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on roads argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can reach places that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
do not. The province of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Misiones
, in Argentina, is one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of this, there,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
have not arrived ever.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are more
environmentally
friendly than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
owing to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount fumes they emit. To illustrate, the contamination emitted by one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in a 30
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometre' is British English.
kilometre
trip equals to 400
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
ride.

In conclusion
, whereas roads should
be built
and looked after by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to reach far away cities, in my opinion, more money should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on building railways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
as these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, convenient and
environmentally
friendly.
Moreover
, politicians should always bear in mind ecological and practical aspects to decide where to spend money.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. Give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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