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Some people say that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. Give your opinion. v. 2
Some people believe public fundings should be spent on railways, others think this should be spent on roads. In this essay I will explain the reasons why I agree with this statement. Investing in railways is essential as trains are a more convenient means of transport. Take, for example, one train only is needed to carry thousands of passengers to work, meanwhile, private cars are used by one or two people at a time, increasing the traffic noticeably. Another advantage of trains is the short time it takes to arrive downtown. For instance, in Buenos Aires it would take maybe one hour driving in heavy traffic to get to work neighbouring areas such as Vicente Lopez, whereas by train you would only need 15 to 20 minutes. On the other hand, those who think money should be spent on roads argue that cars can reach places that trains do not. The province of Misiones, in Argentina, is one clear example of this, there, trains have not arrived ever. In spite of this, trains are more environmentally friendly than cars owing to the small amount fumes they emit. To illustrate, the contamination emitted by one car in a 30 kilometre trip equals to 400 kilometres of train ride. In conclusion, whereas roads should be built and looked after by the government to reach far away cities, in my opinion, more money should be spent on building railways and trains as these are fast, convenient and environmentally friendly. Moreover, politicians should always bear in mind ecological and practical aspects to decide where to spend money.
Some
people
believe public
fundings
should be
spent
on railways, others
think
this should be
spent
on roads. In this essay I will
explain
the reasons why I
agree
with this statement.

Investing in railways is essential as
trains
are a more convenient means of transport. Take,
for example
, one
train
only
is needed
to carry thousands of passengers to work, meanwhile, private
cars
are
used
by one or two
people
at a time, increasing the traffic
noticeably
. Another advantage of
trains
is the short time it takes to arrive downtown.
For instance
, in Buenos Aires it would take maybe one hour driving in heavy traffic to
get
to work
neighbouring
areas such as Vicente Lopez, whereas by
train
you would
only
need 15 to 20 minutes.

On the other hand
, those who
think
money should be
spent
on roads argue that
cars
can reach places that
trains
do not. The province of
Misiones
, in Argentina, is one
clear
example of this, there,
trains
have not arrived ever.
In spite of
this,
trains
are more
environmentally
friendly than
cars
owing to the
small
amount fumes they emit. To illustrate, the contamination emitted by one
car
in a 30
kilometre
trip equals to 400
kilometres
of
train
ride.

In conclusion
, whereas roads should
be built
and looked after by the
government
to reach far away cities, in my opinion, more money should be
spent
on building railways and
trains
as these are
fast
, convenient and
environmentally
friendly.
Moreover
, politicians should always bear in mind ecological and practical aspects to decide where to spend money.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people say that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. Give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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