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tpo9. task3Required Work ExperienceThe business studies department at State University will now require all students enrolled in its program to complete one semester of work experience in a local corporation or small business. It is felt that students will v.1

tpo9. task3Required Work ExperienceThe business studies department at State University will now require all students enrolled in its program to complete one semester of work experience in a local corporation or small business. It is felt that students will v. 1
Pollution is the most dangerous issue to be faced by the humans in the upcoming future, but the world is not showing that much attention towards it and even more people are living in an illusion that this issue can be abated by using technology. Yes, it is true that we are advancing more in contrast, we are doing poorly in maintaining the pollution. In my opinion, it is a difficult task to avoid the dangers with the help of these advancements. This essay will discuss the most vital environmental issues which we are about to face are global warming and scarcity of fresh air and water. Firstly, First and foremost, With the growth in global warming, we are in danger of facing high temperatures in the near future, which we cannot be reduced by using the advancements in science. For example, if we observe the temperatures of the globe during the past years, it is visible that the increase is getting bigger and bigger, While so many attempts have been made to reduce this so called thing but not even a single solution has been found. So it is clear that it is not able to do all the work for humankind. Secondly, For instance, due to the advancement in the pollution there is a scarcity in the water and the amount of oxygen content in the atmosphere, it is evidenced in so many research papers that these are going to extant in the near future and also it is very difficult even for it to reproduce the same for the total population. Thirdly, To conclude, It should be noted that automation is providing a vast kind of things to humankind, but alongside it is having some limitations but also so it is advisable that not to depend more on robotics in these kind of issues like, which we never reproduce the sources. In contrast, Unlike, Nevertheless, Despite, Whereas, Conversely.
Pollution is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
to
be faced
by the humans in the upcoming future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the world is not showing that much attention towards it and even more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living in an illusion that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
can
be abated
by using technology. Yes, it is true that we are advancing more
in contrast
, we are doing
poorly
in maintaining the pollution. In my opinion, it is a difficult task to avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these advancements. This essay will discuss the most vital environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which we are about to face are global warming and scarcity of fresh air and water.

Firstly
,
First
and foremost, With the growth in global warming, we are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of facing high temperatures in the near future, which we cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by using the advancements in science.
For example
, if we observe the temperatures of the globe during the past years, it is visible that the increase is getting bigger and bigger, While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attempts have
been made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not even a single solution has
been found
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it is not able to do all the work for humankind.

Secondly
,
For instance
, due to the advancement in the pollution there is a scarcity in the water and the amount of oxygen content in the atmosphere, it
is evidenced
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
research papers that these are going to
It seems that a verb is missing in front of the adjective "extant".
extant
in the near future and
also
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult even for it to reproduce the same for the total population.

Thirdly
,
To conclude
, It should
be noted
that automation is providing a vast kind of things to humankind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
alongside it is having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is advisable that not to depend more on robotics in
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like, which we never reproduce the sources.
In contrast
, Unlike,
Nevertheless
, Despite, Whereas,
Conversely
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo9. task3Required Work ExperienceThe business studies department at State University will now require all students enrolled in its program to complete one semester of work experience in a local corporation or small business. It is felt that students will v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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