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tpo9Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

tpo9 Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Personally, I cannot agree with the argument that children' s creativity has been suppressed by modern technology, since the well-developed technology nowadays is beneficial to kids' innovation ability rather than depressing it. Firstly, modern technology, especially the development of computers and internet, is making knowledge more and more accessible to children, which is an important element in the procedure of building up the fundamental stage of creation. For example, when I was young, the learning materials are limited by books, radios and televisions, as well as looking for teachers to teach me using my parents lots of money. But now, kids could be so lucky that they can easily learn any knowledge they like through a few clicks and presses on the keyboard. Learning more information in people' s small age would increase the chance of inventions when they grow older. Moreover, technology could make it possible to stimulate children' s potential in many aspects, while they are listening to music, watching movies even playing computer games. Technology has been making our lives better and easier, and it is around us everywhere, providing us the probabilities of making big breakthroughs. Our kids are still as curious as before, it is easy to notice that children are embracing new technologies faster than adults. Even though playing computer games are criticized by lots of parents, suggesting that their children' s eyesight is becoming worse and they are becoming addicted to those games, it is not doubt that none of the games in our childhoods can be so clever and full of imagination as the computer games today. Although we have to admit that, technology has occupied so much time and attention in children' s life and squeezed the time for family and nature, it is not making the children less creative than before. Since the technology now has become so intelligent and hard to defeat, it is more difficult for children to make some striking moves for their parents as twenty years ago, when simply making wood chairs could cheer parents up and let them think their children are cleverer than ever.
Personally
, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s creativity has
been suppressed
by modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, since the well-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
nowadays is beneficial to
Possible spelling mistake found.
kids&
#039; innovation ability
rather
than depressing it.

Firstly
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
especially
the development of computers and internet, is making knowledge more and more accessible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element in the procedure of building up the fundamental stage of creation.
For example
, when I was young, the learning materials
are limited
by books, radios and televisions,
as well
as looking for teachers to teach me using my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
lots of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, kids could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lucky that they can
easily
learn any knowledge they like through a few clicks and presses on the keyboard. Learning more information in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age would increase the chance of inventions when they grow older.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible to stimulate
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s potential in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects, while they are listening to music, watching movies even playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has been making our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better and easier, and it is around us everywhere, providing us the probabilities of making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
breakthroughs. Our kids are
still
as curious as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, it is easy to notice that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are embracing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
faster than adults.
Even though
playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are criticized
by lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, suggesting that their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s eyesight is becoming
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
worse and
they are becoming addicted to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, it is not doubt that none of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in our childhoods can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
clever and full of imagination as the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Although we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has occupied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time and attention in
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s life and squeezed the time for family and nature, it is not making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
less creative than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
intelligent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to defeat, it is more difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
striking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as twenty years ago, when
simply
making wood chairs could cheer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are cleverer than ever.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo9 Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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