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TPO 9 -Independent taskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 9 -Independent task Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is clear that communication plays an important role in daily life. Some people think that speaking is more significant than writing, while I absolutely agree that spoken conversation is as crucial as written communication. On the one hand, communication by speaking is very widespread in daily life. This is because people use it everywhere. For instance, housewives usually speak with sellers what they want to buy in the street markets, after that the sellers get information and serve their customers. Moreover, spoken communication brings some convenience to speakers. In other words, speakers do not need to use any supporting tools. For example, many dump people have to use a piece of paper and a pen for written communication. On the other hand, it is very beneficial to communicate by writing. In other word, in some cases written communication is better than spoken communication. Sales contracts are a good example in this case as businessmen need to have the legal evidence for their negotiation. What is more, writing is the best way for disabled people to make daily conversations. This is because they cannot speak. If they did not communicate by writing, the would not find the other ways to transmit their ideas. To conclude, although speaking is very popular in daily life, writing is very useful in transmission, particularly, for the disabled community, and for businessmen. As far as I am concerned, people should choose the proper way to communicate depending on the reality.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that speaking is more significant than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
, while I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that spoken conversation is as crucial as written communication.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
by speaking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
widespread in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
life. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it everywhere.
For instance
, housewives
usually
speak with sellers what they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in the street markets, after that the sellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information and serve their customers.
Moreover
, spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
convenience to speakers. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, speakers do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any supporting tools.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
dump
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a piece of paper and a pen for written communication.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to communicate by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is better than spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Sales contracts are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example
in this case
as businessmen need to have the legal evidence for their negotiation.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
is the best way for disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
conversations. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot speak. If they did not communicate by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
,
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
would not find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to transmit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

To conclude
, although speaking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful in transmission,
particularly
, for the disabled community, and for businessmen. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose the proper way to communicate depending on the reality.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay TPO 9 -Independent task Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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