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Modern professional women confront a difficulty that men don’t generally face: the struggle to balance the pressures of work and home. In your opinion, how can this difficulty best be solved. Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your o v.2

Modern professional women confront a difficulty that men don’t generally face: the struggle to balance the pressures of work and home. In your opinion, how can this difficulty best be solved. 2
Women in current era gradually becoming more career focus when compare to the past. An increasing trend shows professional women would find difficulty in striking the balance between work and home. In this short essay, I shall use my own experience to name a few possible means to maintain work-life balance. Nowadays we would see a fair working environment between male and female, providing a good opportunity for women to be successful. Yet, on the downside, attention to family matter may see plummet (for example, upkeep of chores). Sense of responsibility both at home and at work, would increase the stress level experienced and emotional effects may draw back to family and friends. It is essential to recognise a way to reduce pressure and more effectively handle both work and personal issues. Time-management would be one key factor, planning the day ahead with a diary with set timeframes will help with forming regularities in life. Unexpected events may occur and disrupt the planned activities; however, panic will not resolve the issue, taking a deep breath, refocus and going back to the diary to rearrange tasks will be an alternative means in keeping motivated. Exercising one other means to reduce tension as endorphin is released to uplift emotion, such as yoga and meditations are well known for stress relieve and spiritual focus. Being one of modern professional women, I personally find the above solutions work best supporting a healthy and stable life without the need to be in constant pressure. Mental awareness is significantly important, and the well-being of ones should be taken seriously.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era
gradually
becoming more career focus when compare to the past. An increasing trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
would find difficulty in striking the balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and home. In this short essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience to name a
Possible agreement error. The noun possible seems to be countable; consider using: "few possibles".
few possible
means to maintain work-life balance.

Nowadays we would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
working environment between male and female, providing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to be successful.
Yet
, on the downside, attention to family matter may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
plummet (
for example
, upkeep of chores). Sense of responsibility both at home and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, would increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level experienced and emotional effects may draw back to family and friends.

It is essential to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pressure and more
effectively
handle both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal issues. Time-management would be one key factor, planning the day ahead with a diary with set timeframes will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with forming regularities in life. Unexpected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
may occur and disrupt the planned activities;
however
, panic will not resolve the issue, taking a deep breath, refocus and going back to the diary to rearrange tasks will be an alternative means in keeping motivated. Exercising one other means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
tension as endorphin
is released
to uplift emotion, such as yoga and meditations are well known for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relieve and spiritual focus.

Being one of modern professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, I
personally
find the above solutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
best supporting a healthy and stable life without the need to be in constant pressure. Mental awareness is
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, and the well-being of ones should
be taken
seriously
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern professional women confront a difficulty that men don’t generally face: the struggle to balance the pressures of work and home. In your opinion, how can this difficulty best be solved. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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