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Some people think that children who are bought up in families without a huge amount of money are better prepared to solve the problems in their adult years. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that children who are bought up in families without a huge amount of money are better prepared to solve the problems in their adult years. v. 2
I am partially accepting the statement that children who are bought up in the families without huge amount of money are better prepared to solve problems in their adult years. That' s true for the children who are bought up with limited resources develop a kind of sincerity and sense of responsibility towards their them and their family members too. Because they know the real value of money as at times of need they have observed their parents working hard to earn money and fulfill their requirements. They may have seen their parents leaving early to work and coming late from work just to be identified at work places. In order to eliminate risk of losing job. On the other hand they also have required to do daily stuffs like cleaning home, cooking or planning for little things to support their parents. The reason why I partially agreed to above statement is because at times it is all about training and upbringing of children leads to learn and develop in their adult age in right way. If they are provided with only things which are essential to lives and restricted for those irrelevant requirements, these kids do learn to value the resources and it' s importance. On a concluding note I can say it' s the way parent project their children they inherit in a similar way. If parents identify difference between needs and demands, children will learn and grow with same mind set.
I am
partially
accepting the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
up in the families without huge amount of money are better prepared to solve problems in their adult years.
Possible spelling mistake found.
That&
#039; s true for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
up with limited resources develop a kind of sincerity and sense of responsibility towards their them and their family members too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they know the real value of money as at times of need they have observed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn money and fulfill their requirements. They may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
leaving early to work and coming late from work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
be identified
at work places. In order to eliminate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing job.
On the other hand
they
also
have required to do daily stuffs like cleaning home, cooking or planning for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
things to support their parents.

The reason why I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to above statement is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at times it is all about training and upbringing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
leads to learn and develop in their adult age in right way. If they
are provided
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
things which are essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and restricted for those irrelevant requirements, these kids do learn to value the resources and
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s importance.

On a concluding note I can say
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
project their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they inherit
Consider replacing "in a similar way" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a similar way
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
identify difference between needs and demands,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn and grow with same mind set.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children who are bought up in families without a huge amount of money are better prepared to solve the problems in their adult years. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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