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tpo9Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

tpo9 Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is imperative to have a healthy lifestyle. A few nations incur a lot of expense to make the use of the bike more commutable. Although, there are various advantages to this, it cannot be the best solution to traffic congestion. To begin with, there are the main reasons why a nation spends money on bicycle usage could be in order to reduce traffic congestion and pollution. Traffic is a rising concern across many countries. In order to reduce the traffic jam the government have encouraged people to use bicycles. They have also invested in building a separate path for the convenience of bike riders. In addition, it would also help in reducing the pollution levels in the city. If more number of individuals reduce the usage of motor vehicles, the pollution levels could be decreased to a great extend. However, increasing the usage of bicycle cannot be the best solution to reduce traffic congestions. Rather by increasing the usage of public transportation would be a more effective way to reduce the traffic congestion. Their various reasons to support the same. First the distance to commute, bicycles cannot be used by a large group of individuals. For example, not all individuals can commute by bike if the distance they need to travel is far. Moreover, if the government can develop the public transport this could help in people reducing the use of private vehicles, and would lead in reducing traffic to a greater extend. To conclude, one could agree that to a small extend we could reduce the traffic jam. But, in order to have a greater impact the government need to improve the public transportation, which can be accessible to a larger group of individuals as compared to a bicycle.
It is imperative to have a healthy lifestyle. A few nations incur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
expense to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the bike more commutable. Although, there are various advantages to this, it cannot be the best solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are the main reasons why a nation spends money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
could be in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and pollution.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
is a rising concern across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. In order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have encouraged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
. They have
also
invested in building a separate path for the convenience of bike riders.
In addition
, it would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing the pollution levels in the city. If more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of motor vehicles, the pollution levels could
be decreased
to a great
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
.

However
, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
cannot be the best solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestions.
Rather
by increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of public transportation would be a more effective way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. Their various reasons to support the same.
First
the distance to commute,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by a large group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
For example
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can commute by bike if the distance they need to travel is far.
Moreover
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can develop the public transport this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private vehicles, and would lead in reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
to a greater
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
.

To conclude
, one could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
extend we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in order to have a greater impact the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the public transportation, which can be accessible to a larger group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
as compared to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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IELTS essay tpo9 Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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