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TPO9- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO9- Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
In today’s progressive world, no one can turn a blind eye to the significant effects of technological advancements on children' s performance. Some are inclined toward the opinion that technology has been making children more innovative than the past. On the other extreme of the rope, others hold the opposite view. Although both sides take their own positions, personally speaking, I firmly believe that the first group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will cogently explain my reasons to justify my points of view. As the first and paramount reason, advanced technology enables children to extend their knowledge; thus, they can think effectively about several scientific subjects. In other words, up-to-date and high-tech equipment has been preparing kids to be expert problem solvers and creative thinkers. Nowadays, having the internet and advanced computers and cell-phones as new and modern technologies, which access to them was not easy in the past periods, children can search multiple websites to find viable solutions and pragmatic approaches to deal creatively with their problems and unprecedented challenges in their lives. For instance, my brother, who is very curious about different subjects, always connects to the Internet easily. He stays at home and watches several educational movies about the mathematics formula and reads different online scientific articles to find innovative solutions. His performance in making originative methods to analyze data and charts has been enhanced surprisingly. In contrast, children living in past decades and access limited sources had to read a few outdated books and texts, which couldn’t help them considerably. Therefore, the more technology children access, the more creative and consistent improvement they show in their performance. The second reason coming to my mind to substantiate my viewpoint is that children with different age ranges are exposed to various notions such as several media. To be more specific, watching different programs, playing numerous inventive video games, kids can learn others’ ideas and methods efficiently and change and apply them creatively. Nowadays, approximately, teenagers have advanced tablets and laptops with which they can play. Online gaming enables many players to engage in a particular game simultaneously. They talk about creative moves and ways to solve puzzles properly. For example, experimental research conducted by some cognitive scientists at a university shows that children who always watch television programs, particularly scientific documentaries, play games with their cell phones or follow imaginative channels on social media have a vivid imagination. Because they can envisage many interesting imagery scenes and interpret them to discover other new notions. Furthermore, they can communicate with their friends to acquire valuable experiences, ideas, and new insights considerably. Hence, if kids access various and new technology, they can obtain others’ new information and apply them in their future. In conclusion, taking the above reasons into account, I strongly believe that not only does technology extend children’s knowledge and encourage them to think creatively, but it also opens a whole gamut of new ideas and experiences for them.
In
today
’s progressive world, no one can turn a blind eye to the significant effects of technological advancements on
children&
#039; s performance.
Some
are inclined
toward the opinion that
technology
has been making
children
more innovative than the past. On the
other
extreme of the rope, others hold the opposite view. Although both sides take their
own
positions,
personally
speaking, I
firmly
believe that the
first
group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will
cogently
explain
my
reasons
to justify my points of view.

As the
first
and paramount
reason
, advanced
technology
enables
children
to extend their knowledge;
thus
, they can
think
effectively
about several scientific subjects. In
other
words, up-to-date and high-tech equipment has been preparing kids to be expert problem solvers and creative thinkers. Nowadays, having the internet and advanced computers and cell-phones as
new
and modern
technologies
, which
access
to them was not easy in the past periods,
children
can search multiple websites to find viable solutions and pragmatic approaches to deal
creatively
with their problems and unprecedented challenges in their
lives
.
For instance
, my brother, who is
very
curious about
different
subjects, always connects to the Internet
easily
. He stays at home and
watches
several educational movies about the mathematics formula and reads
different
online scientific articles to find innovative solutions. His performance in making
originative
methods to analyze data and charts has
been enhanced
surprisingly
.
In contrast
,
children
living in past decades and
access
limited sources had to read a few outdated books and texts, which couldn’t
help
them
considerably
.
Therefore
, the more
technology
children
access
, the more creative and consistent improvement they
show
in their performance.

The second
reason
coming to my mind to substantiate my viewpoint is that
children
with
different
age ranges
are exposed
to various notions such as several media. To be more specific, watching
different
programs, playing numerous inventive video games, kids can learn others’
ideas
and methods
efficiently
and
change
and apply them
creatively
. Nowadays, approximately,
teenagers
have advanced tablets and laptops with which they can play. Online gaming enables
many
players to engage in a particular game
simultaneously
. They talk about creative
moves
and ways to solve puzzles
properly
.
For example
, experimental research conducted by
some
cognitive scientists at a university
shows
that
children
who always
watch
television programs,
particularly
scientific documentaries, play games with their cell phones or follow imaginative channels on social media have a vivid imagination.
Because
they can envisage
many
interesting imagery scenes and interpret them to discover
other
new
notions.
Furthermore
, they can communicate with their friends to acquire valuable experiences,
ideas
, and
new
insights
considerably
.
Hence
, if kids
access
various and
new
technology
, they can obtain others’
new
information and apply them in their future.

In conclusion
, taking the above
reasons
into account, I
strongly
believe that not
only
does
technology
extend
children’s
knowledge and encourage them to
think
creatively
,
but
it
also
opens a whole gamut of
new
ideas
and experiences for them.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO9- Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
494 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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