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Do you agree or disagree: The way people dressed is a good indication of his or her personality or character. v.2

: The way people dressed is a good indication of his or her personality or character. v. 2
Today with the galloping growth rate of fashion companies, people with different characters and beliefs can buy and dress various formal, casual, and sportswear that are not agree with their personalities. Some people are inclined toward the opinion that people are judged by others according to the way they dressed. On the other extreme of the rope, others definitely believe that wearing different and various clothing is a personal issue and doesn' t indicate and reflect a person' s personality and belief. Although, both sides take their own positions, personally speaking, I deeply believe that the latter group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will explain my point of view by using specific reasons. As the first and paramount reason, many people dress similar clothing but they may have fundamentally different personalities and beliefs. In other words, everyone in society with different religious beliefs, approaches, and styles of life can dress some special clothing which does not have any coincidence with his or her personality. For instance, some students in a psychology department in a university studied two groups of professors who dressed a uniform and were from different countries and tried to define the meaningful relationship between the way they dressed and social behavior and their beliefs. The results of that research were obvious. The researchers declared that all professors have the same style and clothing, but have different abilities, beliefs, personality, approaches, and insights; thus, the way they dressed is not a rational indication of their personality. The second reason coming to my mind to substantiate my reason is, a person dresses differently in different places and situations. To be more specific, selecting and wearing different clothing depends on places where we are going to go; hence, coinciding the way people dress clothing to their beliefs, abilities, and knowledge not only is meaningless but also is extremely absurd. For example, about two years ago a computer company invited one of my friends who didn’t have any knowledge and information about quality control and economy for a formal job interview. On the day of the interview, she dressed the uniform of that company and persuaded managers to accept her application. Finally, some engineers and managers who judged my friend by her style of clothing and didn’t consider her knowledge and abilities employed her because of the attractive way she dressed. After six months, my friend couldn’t complete the company' s project properly and efficiently and they couldn’t deliver the orders to the customers on due dates. Subsequently, that company ruined its reputation. Therefore, people should know that persons’ clothes don’t reflect their beliefs and abilities. In conclusion, people may fundamentally are different from each other, but dress similar clothes. In addition, people shouldn’t evaluate and judge others’ characteristics by their appearance. Since clothing is the first impression but it is not the last impression. Consequently, the most significant factor of people’s life is their abilities and knowledge dealing with different problems; moreover, the way they dressed is not important and will not reflect their personality.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
with the galloping growth rate of fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
characters and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
various formal, casual, and sportswear that are not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with their personalities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are judged
by others according to the way they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressed
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
extreme of the rope, others definitely believe that wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
and various clothing is a personal issue and
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t indicate and reflect a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
. Although, both sides take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
positions,
personally
speaking, I
deeply
believe that the latter group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view by using specific reasons.

As the
first
and paramount reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
similar clothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they may have
fundamentally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
personalities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, everyone in society with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
, approaches, and styles of life can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special clothing which does not have any coincidence with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students in a psychology department in a university studied two groups of professors who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressed
a uniform and were from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries and tried to define the meaningful relationship between the way they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressed
and social behavior and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
. The results of that research were obvious. The researchers declared that all professors have the same style and clothing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
, approaches, and insights;
thus
, the way they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressed
is not a rational indication of their personality.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second reason coming to my mind to substantiate my reason is, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
differently
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
places and situations. To be more specific, selecting and wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
clothing depends on places where we are going to go;
hence
, coinciding the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
clothing to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is meaningless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is
extremely
absurd.
For example
, about two years ago a computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
invited one of my friends who didn’t have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and information about quality control and economy for a formal job interview. On the day of the interview, she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressed
the uniform of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and persuaded managers to accept her application.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
engineers and managers who judged my friend by her style of clothing and didn’t consider her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
employed her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the attractive way she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressed
. After six months, my friend couldn’t complete the
Possible spelling mistake found.
company&
#039; s project
properly
and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
efficiently and
they couldn’t deliver the orders to the customers on due dates.
Subsequently
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
ruined its reputation.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know that persons’ clothes don’t reflect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
and abilities.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
fundamentally
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
similar clothes.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shouldn’t evaluate and judge others’ characteristics by their appearance. Since clothing is the
first
impression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the last impression.
Consequently
, the most significant factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
problems;
moreover
, the way they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressed
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and will not reflect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay : The way people dressed is a good indication of his or her personality or character. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
508 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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