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Task 1 Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible Other young adults prefer to live with their family for a longer time Which of these solutions do you think is better Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v.2

Task 1 Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible Other young adults prefer to live with their family for a longer time Which of these solutions do you think is better Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v. 2
Three are different opinions regarding how long young adults should live with their parents. The age at which young adults become independent from their parents varies from person to person. There are some youth that would be benefit from living longer with their parents and some others are not. I my opinion, I think that young adults should live independently from their parent as soon as possible. In this essay, I address the various issues to support that having independence in the early age provides young adults with great benefits. To begin with, when teenagers grow up to be young adults, their needs and habit of living change. Most young adults would prefer to have independence from their parents as soon as possible. They would prefer independence because they would like to have the freedom to do what they desire and to be free from their parents' supervision. From my experience, I grew up in a loving family, and my parents are very supportive. I left home to live in another city for education when I was ten years old. I had to live by myself and I had a lot a freedom to do things. I had more freedom to think and make decisions in my life compared with my other friends who lived with their parents. In addition, being independent at an early age provides young adults with beneficial experiences such as learning basic life skills and how to make decision on their own. From my experience, when I left home and live by myself in High school years I had learned a lot of things during that time. I learned to do housework, cooking, fixing things, and making decisions. It was very challenging at that age, however, I am very thankful passing through that time. If my parent did not send me to school and allowed me to live independently at the early age, I would not learn valuable life skills. Furthermore, living independently in an early age provides young adults with valuable lessons of being responsible to themselves. I remember that when I was in High school I had more responsibility of myself compared with other friends who lived with their parents. I have to manage my daily life schedule, studying and preparing myself to get in to university, and taking care of finance in the same time. I was struggling at the first year, but I finally learned to organize my life, and to do many tasks in the same time. These lessons help me to become a responsible person. In contrast, living with parents for so long could lead young adults vulnerable situations. Parents tend to support and give their children everything they want, therefore young adults will not have many opportunities to learn important skills such as decision making, and problem solving. In conclusion, young adult could get great benefits from living independently in an early age. Living independently provides a person with freedom, and valuable life lessons. However, the appropriate time to live independently is depended on the maturity of each young adult.
Three are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions regarding how long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
become
The usual collocation for "independent" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independent of"?
independent from
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
varies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youth that would be benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
longer with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others are not. I my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
The usual collocation for "independently" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independently of"?
independently from
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In this essay, I address the various issues to support that having independence in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
with great benefits.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
grow up to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, their needs and habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
would prefer to have independence from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. They would prefer independence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would like to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to do what they desire and to be free from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; supervision. From my experience, I grew up in a loving family, and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
supportive. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in another city for education when I was ten years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. I had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by myself and I had a lot a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to do things.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
compared with my other friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with their parents.

In addition
, being independent at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
with beneficial experiences such as learning basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. From my experience, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by myself in High school years I had learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things during that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I learned to do housework, cooking, fixing things, and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
however
, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thankful passing through that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. If my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me to school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, I would not learn valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
with valuable lessons of being responsible to themselves. I remember that when I was in High school I had more responsibility of myself compared with other friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage my daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
schedule, studying and preparing myself to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in to university, and taking care of finance in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was struggling at the
first
year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
finally
learned to organize my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. These lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to become a responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long could lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
vulnerable situations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
tend to support and give their children everything they want,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
will not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, and problem solving.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
great benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
, and valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons.
However
, the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
is depended
on the maturity of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
91Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Task 1 Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible Other young adults prefer to live with their family for a longer time Which of these solutions do you think is better Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
511 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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