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TPO46 independentDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support y v.2

TPO46 independent The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support y v. 2
Walking on the street, we can often see youngsters talking about celebrities - their new releases, news and scandals, or intimating their styles from top to the bottom. Thus, some argue that the opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than they are to the elderly. I fundamentally agree with this view because the young generation, especially teenagers, are more likely to patronize stars and therefore value their opinions. To begin with, many youngsters have their own favorite idols. This is because that they are open-minded to new trends and tend to follow such trends. Teenagers are always seeking out for fun and new thrills because their daily routine - sitting in the small classroom studying for difficult and boring subjects - is exhausting and they need to relax. Entertainment, such as movies, pop music, or sports games, are prevailing among young people and it is naturally for them to appreciate the actors, singers, or athletes participating in them, even though sometimes the appreciation is not out of their free wills but of peer pressure - to be cool and stay connected to their friends. Growing up in my community, whether it is in the school or in the neighborhood, I always have the fear of being considered outdated by my peers once I did not watch the trending TV drama or concerning about the upcoming basketball games. By contrast, most elder people hardly have so much passion toward a celebrity, since they have tons of works to do, from making money to taking care of their family. Moreover, young people are in a stage where they are susceptible to others' opinions, to the views of celebrities they admire in particular. They usually depend on the advice of elder and more mature people to make a decision because they have not yet gained enough knowledge and experience to give their own judgement. For example, instead of carefully comparing the quality and price of similar products with different brands, teenagers would simply prefer the one endorsed by a famous person because they believe more in his image and reputation than in the facts. Also, out of pure admiration, they would like to collect anything that recommended by their idols, such as comic books, concert merchandise, sports drinking, etc. But the elderly people, although some of them might also had or still have a period when they are obsessed with singers or movie stars, are more rational and critical about celebrities' words and behaviors. Being aware of a range of factors, they would think comprehensively - whether it is cost-effective or not, what kind of consequences will it bring, how would others like - before doing something. In the final analysis, compared to elder people, youngsters are fonder of entertainment, spending more time on watching TV dramas and sports games, and they are not mature enough to form their own opinions. Therefore, they are more likely to be crazy fans of celebrities and be significantly influenced by their point of views.
Walking on the street, we can
often
see
youngsters talking about
celebrities
-
their
new
releases,
news
and scandals, or intimating their styles from top to the bottom.
Thus
,
some
argue that the opinions of
celebrities
are more
important
to younger
people
than they are to the elderly. I
fundamentally
agree
with this view
because
the young generation,
especially
teenagers
, are more likely to patronize stars and
therefore
value their opinions.

To
begin
with,
many
youngsters have their
own
favorite idols. This is
because
that they are open-minded to
new
trends and tend to follow such trends.
Teenagers
are always seeking out for fun and
new
thrills
because
their daily routine
-
sitting in the
small
classroom studying for difficult and boring subjects
-
is
exhausting and
they need to relax. Entertainment, such as movies, pop music, or sports games, are prevailing among young
people
and it is
naturally
for them to appreciate the actors, singers, or athletes participating in them,
even though
sometimes
the appreciation is not out of their free wills
but
of peer pressure
-
to be cool and stay connected to their friends. Growing up in my community, whether it is in the school or in the neighborhood, I always have the fear of
being considered
outdated by my peers once I did not
watch
the trending TV drama or concerning about the upcoming basketball games. By contrast,
most elder
people
hardly have
so
much passion toward a
celebrity
, since they have tons of works to do, from making money to taking care of their family.

Moreover
, young
people
are in a stage where they are susceptible to
others&
#039; opinions, to the views of
celebrities
they admire
in particular
. They
usually
depend on the advice of elder and more mature
people
to
make
a decision
because
they have not
yet
gained
enough
knowledge and experience to give their
own
judgement.
For example
,
instead
of
carefully
comparing the quality and price of similar products with
different
brands,
teenagers
would
simply
prefer the one endorsed by a
famous
person
because
they believe more in his image and reputation than in the facts.
Also
, out of pure admiration, they would like to collect anything that recommended by their idols, such as comic books, concert merchandise, sports drinking, etc.
But
the elderly
people
, although
some
of them might
also
had
or
still
have a period when they
are obsessed
with singers or movie stars, are more rational and critical about
celebrities&
#039; words and behaviors. Being aware of a range of factors, they would
think
comprehensively
-
whether it
is cost
-effective or not, what kind of consequences will it bring, how would others like
-
before
doing something.

In the final analysis, compared to elder
people
, youngsters are fonder of entertainment, spending more time on watching TV dramas and sports games, and they are not mature
enough
to form their
own
opinions.
Therefore
, they are more likely to be crazy fans of
celebrities
and be
significantly
influenced by their point of views.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO46 independent The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support y v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
501 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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