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Human have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress have negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Human have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress have negative effects on people's lives. v. 2
In recent centuries, humankind hava made various technological advancements, leading to an argument that this trend would impact adversely on ordinary people' s lives. In my opnion, I strongly agree with this point of view. Many opponents would reject this perspective seeing that the state-of-the-art technologies have facilitated human' s life than ever such as keeping people abreast of up-to-the-minute information or getting a hold of friends who are studying overseas. However, I would argue that this is no longer the case due to the fact that residents are now being bombarded with diversified information and seldom perceive whether the sources of this is accurate or misleading. Advanced techologies also undermine intimate relations among people. The prime example of this is that more and more people, especially younger generation, have been utilized excessively their technical gadgets like laptops or smartphones rather than appreciating affectionate moments with family and friends. Another adverse influence of the advent of high technologies would be overall health deterioration. It is true that many adults, particularly IT staff, are sufferring from recurrent symptoms such as eyestrain, backache and so on due to routine habit of keeping their eyes glued to the screens. It is also the case with a vast majority of people in the present day to lead a sendentary lives, which is a precursor to severely chronic diseases like obesity or diabetes. In conclusion, I utterly advocate with those who maintain that technological breakthroughs bring numerous detrimental effects on ordinary people' s daily lives.
In recent centuries, humankind
hava
made various technological advancements, leading to an argument that this trend would impact
adversely
on ordinary
people&
#039; s
lives
. In my
opnion
, I
strongly
agree
with this point of view.

Many
opponents would reject this perspective seeing that the state-of-the-art technologies have facilitated
human&
#039; s life than ever such as keeping
people
abreast of up-to-the-minute information or getting a hold of friends who are studying overseas.
However
, I would argue that this is no longer the case due to the fact that residents are
now
being bombarded
with diversified information and seldom perceive whether the sources of this is accurate or misleading. Advanced
techologies
also
undermine intimate relations among
people
. The prime example of this is that more and more
people
,
especially
younger generation, have
been utilized
excessively
their technical gadgets like laptops or smartphones
rather
than appreciating affectionate moments with family and friends.

Another adverse influence of the advent of high technologies would be
overall
health deterioration. It is true that
many
adults,
particularly
IT staff, are
sufferring
from recurrent symptoms such as eyestrain, backache and
so
on due to routine habit of keeping their eyes glued to the screens. It is
also
the case with a vast majority of
people
in the present day to lead a
sendentary
lives
, which is a precursor to
severely
chronic diseases like obesity or diabetes.

In conclusion
, I
utterly
advocate with those who maintain that technological breakthroughs bring numerous detrimental effects on ordinary
people&
#039; s daily
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Human have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress have negative effects on people's lives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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