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TPO32#2---Do you Agree or Disagree with the following statement? Because the World is Changing so Quickly, people are now less Happy with Their Lives or less satisfied than people were in the Past Use specific examples and Reasons to Support your answer. v.1

TPO32#2--- Because the World is Changing so Quickly, people are now less Happy with Their Lives or less satisfied than people were in the Past Use specific examples and Reasons to Support your answer. v. 1
Over the last few decades, the women have been encouraged to join the police department of the government. There is often a dichotomy in opinion, on whether, the feminine touch should include in a law enforcement agency or it has detrimental effects on the police department. I strongly believe that the women`s abilities are far more beneficial in the department of police. To begin with, when it comes to emotional intelligence, women outrun the men. To put in another way, the sensitivity and intuition of woman help in the investigation of serious crime. Even though some offenders are hard to break, the torture is not the answer. The women can perform well here to break the silence for the resolution of the case. To illustrate this, the famous case of the serial killer where the copper had failed to provide the solid evidence against the criminal. The female copper “ Alexa John” had easily cracked the offender through emotional conversation. If she had not opted at that time, the jury would have released him due to the lack of evidence. Moreover, the female has the power to boost the morale of the team member during the hardest time of work. To emphasize, if the clue had difficult to point out in any case, the team would have frustrated and inclined toward the wrong direction of the case. The above scenario can easily be hacked by the female officer acting as in-charge of the case. They have the ability to pump up the team to get into the flow of the work. For instance, the researcher has found out that the when the case goes to the pointless direction, the law department will prefer to involve the feminine force for re-building the confidence of the team. To summarize, women`s ability has outweighed the men, so administering the famine force is not only helping the police department, but also give them the power to resolve the difficult case in the least time.
Over the last few decades, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
been encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a dichotomy in opinion, on whether, the feminine touch should include in a law enforcement agency or it has detrimental effects on the police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
. I
strongly
believe that the
The character between 'women' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "women’s" (curly apostrophe) or "women's" (straight apostrophe).
women`s
abilities are far more beneficial in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
of police.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to emotional intelligence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
outrun the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. To put in another way, the sensitivity and intuition of woman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the investigation of serious crime.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offenders are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to break, the torture is not the answer. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can perform well here to break the silence for the resolution of the case. To illustrate this, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
case of the serial killer where the copper had failed to provide the solid evidence against the criminal. The female copper
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
Alexa John” had
easily
cracked the offender through emotional conversation. If she had not opted at that time, the jury would have released him due to the lack of evidence.

Moreover
, the female has the power to boost the morale of the team member during the hardest time of work. To emphasize, if the clue had difficult to point out in any case, the team would have frustrated and inclined toward the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction of the case. The above scenario can
easily
be hacked
by the female officer acting as in-charge of the case. They have the ability to pump up the team to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the flow of the work.
For instance
, the researcher has found out that the when the case goes to the pointless direction, the law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
will prefer to involve the feminine force for re-building the confidence of the team.

To summarize
,
The character between 'women' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "women’s" (curly apostrophe) or "women's" (straight apostrophe).
women`s
ability has outweighed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
administering the famine force is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
helping the police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give them the power to resolve the difficult case in the least time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay TPO32#2--- Because the World is Changing so Quickly, people are now less Happy with Their Lives or less satisfied than people were in the Past Use specific examples and Reasons to Support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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