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TPO 31- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 31- Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Without any shadow of doubts, modern technology advances have changed people' s life and make it faster than ever before. In fact, our world is changing rapidly, and we have to adjust ourselves to the changes to live comfortably. Many people think that we are today less happy with our lives, while some others believe that these changes have brought many advantages to our lives. I am of the opinion that today we have a comfortable life due to the improvement of our world in comparison to the past. To support my stance, the following explanation will further elaborate on my perspective. One of the significant merits of the ongoing topic is that our life has become fast and comfortable. As technology grows, people experience different improvements and advancements in several fields of engineering and science. As a matter of fact, we have several appliances that help us to live better. For instance, imagine you want to buy furniture. We used to drive around the city and compare different prices of the retailers and then bargain to get the best price which was time consuming and frustrating. Meanwhile, today, thanks to the invention of the internet, you just have to surf the net to find the lowest price. Although we are susceptible to be deceived by some fake advertisements on the net, the government has recently passed a law to control the criminal websites. Thus, people, today ought to be thankful for the technology advancement which has brought them a comfortable life. Another reason which deserves to say some words here is that the health care today has improved significantly in comparison to the past. Nowadays, people have more knowledge about their health because they can detect their problems easier than before. Since technology expands in many fields, people have more access to the required information about their health and how to run a healthy lifestyle. Besides, the government has established several health care centers to heal people without getting any money. However, this was improbable in the past. Take my grandmother, for instance; she died just because of not reaching to the hospital immediately. Sadly, they were living in the suburbs, and they had to travel to the city center to be checked by doctors. Therefore, today people lead a healthy lifestyle, and they should be happy that there are many facilities for the sake of their health care. On the other hand, today, the environment is much more polluted than the past. The technology development forced people to find the abundant amount of energy sources to run their machines and factories to create modem appliances. In this regard, we are making our atmosphere polluted by ourselves. It is vividly evident that after a while, our world will become inhabitable and we will get soon stuck in that rut. In brief, by contemplating the reasons mentioned above, I am pretty convinced that there are several solid reasons to support the idea that people are more happy and satisfied. Not only do they run a comfortable life but also they have a healthier life than before. However, we have to consider the air pollution for the next generation carefully.
Without any shadow of doubts, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advances have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it faster than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In fact, our world is changing
rapidly
, and we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adjust ourselves to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
comfortably
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
less happy with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others believe that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
we have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to the improvement of our world
in comparison
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. To support my stance, the following explanation will
further
elaborate on my perspective.

One of the significant merits of the ongoing topic is that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
grows,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
improvements and advancements in several fields of engineering and science. As a matter of fact, we have several appliances that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
better.
For instance
, imagine you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
furniture. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to drive around the city and compare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prices of the retailers and then bargain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best price which was
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and frustrating. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
, thanks to the invention of the internet, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
surf the net to find the lowest price. Although we are susceptible to
be deceived
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fake advertisements on the net, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has recently passed a law to control the criminal websites.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
ought to be thankful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advancement which has brought them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
life.

Another reason which deserves to say
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words here is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
in comparison
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more knowledge about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can detect their problems easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
expands in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more access to the required information about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and how to run a healthy lifestyle.
Besides
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has established several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care centers to heal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without getting any money.
However
, this was improbable in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Take my grandmother,
for instance
; she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not reaching to the hospital immediately.
Sadly
, they were living in the suburbs, and they had to travel to the city center to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
by doctors.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lead a healthy lifestyle, and they should be happy that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities for the sake of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
, the environment is much more polluted than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
development forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find the abundant amount of energy sources to run their machines and factories to create modem appliances. In this regard, we are making our atmosphere polluted by ourselves. It is
vividly
evident that after a while, our world will become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
inhabitable and
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
stuck in that rut.

In brief
, by contemplating the reasons mentioned above, I am pretty convinced that there are several solid reasons to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more happy and satisfied. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they have a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
However
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider the air pollution for the
next
generation
carefully
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 31- Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
529 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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