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Too much emphasis is being placed on going university for academic education. People should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a shortage of qualified tradespeople. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Too much emphasis is being placed on going university for academic education. People should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a shortage of qualified tradespeople. v. 1
Every crime has a severity in terms of the country’s law, according to the offence a criminal is to be punished. Putting every offender in jail is not always the best decision. The effective ways can be educated to change a criminal’s mind and providing technical or vocational training to have some financial support. Prison is not a solution to the problem a criminal has caused to society; it was the mindset. Education in the form of punishment could do a better job. The main reason or causes of crime are poverty, illiteracy and unemployment. If these three things are focused and improved, every crime would be prevented. There are a lot of cases in history where criminals make more crimes after leaving prison. Because no counselling or education has been provided to the criminals, only putting them in jails would not resolve the issue. Job training means making a criminal financially viable to have everything by earning money. Shoplifters, for instance, grab the stuff to fulfil daily needs; this only happens because of having no money or work. Making a person employable or trained for a job will be a good reason to prevent future crimes. This training could also be provided with the jail tenure if a person is a murderer. Thus, a skill provided can be useful in the future as well as the criminal can also work and contribute to jail. The conclusion to this issue is not to put criminals to prison every time as this is not solving the problem to happen again. Impart education and provide skill training to the criminals could be a better idea in all the aspects.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has a severity in terms of the country’s law, according to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is to
be punished
. Putting every offender in jail is not always the best decision. The effective ways can
be educated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal’s
mind and providing technical or vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial support.

Prison is not a solution to the problem a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
has caused to society; it was the mindset. Education in the form of punishment could do a better job. The main reason or causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are poverty, illiteracy and unemployment. If these three things
are focused
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cases in history where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after leaving prison.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
no counselling or education has
been provided
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
putting them in jails would not resolve the issue.

Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
means making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
financially
viable to have everything by earning money. Shoplifters,
for instance
, grab the stuff to fulfil daily needs; this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having no money or work. Making a person employable or trained for a job will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
could
also
be provided
with the jail tenure if a person is a murderer.
Thus
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
provided can be useful in the future
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
can
also
work and contribute to jail.

The conclusion to this issue is not to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to prison every time as this is not solving the problem to happen again. Impart education and provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
could be a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in all the aspects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Too much emphasis is being placed on going university for academic education. People should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a shortage of qualified tradespeople. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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