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TPO30: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v.2

TPO30: It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v. 2
It is not hidden to anybody that the issue of job satisfaction plays a pivotal role in every individual' s life, as we spend most of our time on our careers. In this regard, some people are of the opinion that working fewer days for a longer time would be more advantageous than working five days a week for a shorter time. From my own perspective, this statement is superficial and have not considered some negative aspects of working for long hours. In the following paragraph, I will cogently substantiate my viewpoint by three conspicuous reasons. One of the noticeable points that everybody should consider is the detrimental effects of working for long hours on our performance. According to various studies, human has a capacity for working and after reaching its climax the quality of performance and the efficiency would dramatically decrease. This capacity differs from one person to another but its average is almost 8 hours. After working for 8 hours you would be definitely exhausted would not be able to fully concentrate on what you were doing. As a personal experience, last year when I initiate working on a project I allocated 12 hours to work on it each day. After a while, I felt really desperate as I did not obtain any noticeable result. Therefore, working fewer days for long hours would not be a good choice as it would substantially decrease productivity and efficiency. Another point that supports my viewpoint is the issue of optimal use of time. Experiences have proven that when we have more leisure time it is more likely to squander our time and energy. Although, it would be a good option for travel lovers to be free four days a week, for most of the people it would definitely be tedious and boring. For example two years ago I used to work for longer hours on specific days a week and then have more free time on other days. After reading books and catching up with other tasks I had nothing to do and then I was just wasting my time with unimportant tasks like watching movies and surfing on the internet. On the whole, I did not have fruitful days. Regarding this issue, the final point coming to my mind is that people who have a more uniform plan for their week are less stressed and have a more healthy life. Lots of studies have proven that non-stop working for long hours would endanger health conditions. It would increase the risk of contracting high blood pressure and heart attack. Employees who prefer to have fewer working days a week, have a jammed plan for specific days and they are required to accomplish more tasks a day and this condition imposes a huge burden os stress on them. On the other hand, employees who work five days a week are less anxious as their plan for working days is not packed and heavy. They could leisurely accomplish their tasks without any worry. In conclusion, I am strongly of the opinion that working five days a week for shorter hours is more profitable as it would definitely increase productivity, help employees to have a more uniform plan which helps them to maintain their health condition, and prevent them from wasting their time.
It is not hidden to anybody that the issue of job satisfaction plays a pivotal role in every
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individual&
#039; s life, as we spend most of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on our careers. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
fewer days for a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
would be more advantageous than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
five days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
for a shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, this statement is superficial and have not considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. In the following paragraph, I will
cogently
substantiate my viewpoint by three conspicuous reasons.

One of the noticeable points that everybody should consider is the detrimental effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on our performance. According to various studies, human has a capacity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and after reaching its climax the quality of performance and the efficiency would
dramatically
decrease. This capacity differs from one person to another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its average is almost 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
you would be definitely exhausted would not be able to
fully
concentrate on what you were doing. As a personal experience, last year when I initiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on a project I allocated 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to work on it each day. After a while, I felt
really
desperate as I did not obtain any noticeable result.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
fewer days for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
would not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice as it would
substantially
decrease productivity and efficiency.

Another point that supports my viewpoint is the issue of optimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Experiences have proven that when we have more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it is more likely to squander our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy. Although, it would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option for travel lovers to be free four days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, for most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
it would definitely be tedious and boring.
For example
two years ago I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on specific days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and then have more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on other days. After reading books and catching up with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
I had nothing to do and then I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wasting my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with unimportant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
like watching movies and surfing on the internet.
On the whole
, I did not have fruitful days.

Regarding this issue, the final point coming to my mind is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a more uniform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
are less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and have a more healthy life. Lots of studies have proven that non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
would endanger health conditions. It would increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of contracting high blood pressure and heart attack. Employees who prefer to have fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, have a jammed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for specific
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
days and
they
are required
to accomplish more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
a day and this condition imposes a huge burden
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on them.
On the other hand
, employees who work five days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
are less anxious as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
days is not packed and heavy. They could
leisurely
accomplish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
without any worry.

In conclusion
, I am
strongly
of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
five days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
for shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is more profitable as it would definitely increase productivity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
employees to have a more uniform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to maintain their health condition, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO30: It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
549 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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