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TPO-30 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use spec v.1

TPO-30 - Independent Writing Task It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use spec v. 1
In modern life, a technology specially internet is getting developed. So people prefer to stay at home and learn everything. Some people believe that is the best style to learn about other cultures. In addition, some people believe travel abroad can teach something more. This essay will discuss both sides of the views. However, travelling is a better way to learn about other countries in reading a book or watch movies. Evidence suggests, a lot of books or movies are published every year and there are about the culture or history of other countries. For example, there are a lot of movies about the Amazon forest. It shows the animals and the environment in there. To illustrate this, people can learn about the environment in the Amazon forest even they are at their home and drink tea and it is a safe way to learn dangerous things. On the other hand, some people believe travelling is a different form to learn something about other countries. Because when people go to a unique culture, every person feels something different from other people. To give a clear example, every journey has a different experience. Because every person has a different personality. For example, some people went to Egypt and they didn’t like the hot weather so they have an awful memory. However, some people pay attention to the history of that and they have a wonderful memory. Summery, considering the point discussed above, there are different ways to learn about other countries and it depends on the personality of people. Some people like to travel in harsh conditions, but some people prefer to stay at home and watch a movie about that.
In modern life, a technology
specially
internet is getting developed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to stay at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
everything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
that is
the best style to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe travel abroad can teach something more. This essay will discuss both sides of the views.
However
, travelling is a better way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in reading a book or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies.

Evidence suggests,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
books or movies
are published
every year and there are about the culture or history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
movies about the Amazon forest. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the animals and the environment in there. To illustrate this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the environment in the Amazon forest even they are at their home and drink tea and it is a safe way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
things.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe travelling is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
form to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
something about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to a unique culture, every person feels something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, every journey has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
experience.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
every person has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
personality.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
went to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Egypt and
they didn’t like the hot weather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have an awful memory.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay attention to the history of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
that and
they have a wonderful memory.

Summery, considering the point discussed above, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it depends on the personality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to travel in harsh conditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to stay at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a movie about that.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-30 - Independent Writing Task It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use spec v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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