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Nowadays we can watch entertainment performance from the screen Laptops etc and no need to watch it live To what entend do you agree v.2

Nowadays we can watch entertainment performance from the screen Laptops etc and no need to watch it live To what entend do you agree v. 2
With the advancement of science and technology every thing has come to our door steps. One such thing is sport events. Now with the help of internet technology we can view real time performances of teams at home, and there is no need to travel all the way to the place of event. However, I disagree with the above change because being a part of real audience, we can experience a whole different environment which is available in stadiums only and able to socialise with peers. When we are present in the ground our energy level is at the peak. What I mean by this is the ambiance of live performance can not be simply felt at home in front of the television screen. Those who are a part of audience can cheer for and boost the moral of their teams during the difficult situations of match. I, for instance, along with my friends was a part of spectators during Pakistan vs India T20 Cricket world cup. It was a memorable moment in our lives we cheered for our team and lift the spirit of our national team in a foreign country. Thus, the experience of physical presence can never be substituted by virtual presence. Another advantage of being present in the stadium is being able to socialise with other people. It provides you a real time opportunity to make friends who share the same values. If people like same sport celebratories, they tend to discuss more thing which are in common and might make lasting bonds. Furthermore, In mega events, such as Word Football Cup or Olympics, people come close to each other from different parts of the world. In this way, they able to understand and appreciate each other culture and values. Therefore, we can minimize misunderstanding and hatred by becoming part of a sport event audience. All in all, although technology made available to us to watch our favorite sports event at home, it can never replace the energetic ambiance and socializing opportunities which are only available to us by present in the stadium. It is recommended that if we have time and resources, instead of limiting ourselves to virtual reality, we must go out and experience the real life.
With the advancement of science and technology every thing has
come
to our door steps. One such thing is
sport
events
.
Now
with the
help
of internet technology we can view
real
time performances of
teams
at home, and there is no need to travel all the way to the place of
event
.
However
, I disagree with the above
change
because
being a
part
of
real
audience, we can experience a whole
different
environment which is available in stadiums
only
and able to
socialise
with peers.

When
we are present in the ground our energy level is at the peak. What I mean by this is the ambiance of
live
performance can not be
simply
felt at home in front of the television screen. Those who are a
part
of audience can cheer for and boost the moral of their
teams
during the difficult situations of match. I,
for instance
, along with my friends was a
part
of spectators during Pakistan vs India T20 Cricket world cup. It was a memorable moment in our
lives
we cheered for our
team
and lift the spirit of our national
team
in a foreign country.
Thus
, the experience of physical presence can never
be substituted
by virtual presence.

Another advantage of being present in the stadium is being able to
socialise
with other
people
. It provides you a
real
time opportunity to
make
friends who share the same values. If
people
like same
sport
celebratories
, they tend to discuss more thing which are in common and might
make
lasting bonds.
Furthermore
, In mega
events
, such as Word Football Cup or Olympics,
people
come
close to each other from
different
parts
of the world. In this way,
they
able to understand and appreciate each other culture and values.
Therefore
, we can minimize misunderstanding and hatred by becoming
part
of a
sport
event
audience.

All in all, although technology made available to us to
watch
our favorite
sports
event
at home, it can never replace the energetic ambiance and
socializing
opportunities which are
only
available to us by present in the stadium. It
is recommended
that if we have time and resources,
instead
of limiting ourselves to virtual reality, we
must
go out and experience the
real
life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays we can watch entertainment performance from the screen Laptops etc and no need to watch it live To what entend do you agree v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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