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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours Use specific reasons and examples to support v.1

It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours Use specific reasons and examples to support v. 1
Although schools are stringent about their institute uniform and looks of their students, other educational institutions have a very calm opinion on seminar apparel. What could be the reasons for different patterns of thinking? However, both pros and cons are deciding to do this. In this essay, I will expand on both the views and draw some conclusions. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of school outfit in use. One of the main positives is it creates a better sense of unity. What I mean by this is that everyone will wear the same clothes and they have a single identity. For instance, a recent survey has revealed that children who are restricted to the same outfit are more proficient in their studies owing to the sense of equality they feel among their peers. Therefore, by adopting this principle will deter the individuality among the students. Secondly, this allows parents to save time and money spent on shopping for hall clothes. For example, the parents will not have to deal with picky children who demand expensive brand or a certain type of clothing. In addition, this will benefit middle class parents. Turning to the other side of the argument, the obsession to the strict dress code may lead to mental stress. Let’s take an example in connection with music; people who listen to the same song gets frustrated over a period of time, the same thing is happening with school uniform. In short, this can affect their mental health and cognitive abilities. Another issue is that there is a huge chance of bullying among them. Taunt based on one’s apparel can have a negative influence over the child. Consequently, the conflict emerges through this are difficult to solve and have a devastating effect. In conclusion, sticking to school uniform has their merits and demerits. You need to weigh up the pros of a sense of harmony and less squandering money on clothes, and the cons of having psychological effects and emotional harassment. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of togetherness and savings eventually outweigh any negatives.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are stringent about their institute uniform and looks of their students, other educational institutions have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
calm opinion on seminar apparel. What could be the reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
patterns of thinking?
However
, both pros and cons are deciding to do this. In this essay, I will expand on both the views and draw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conclusions.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
outfit in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. One of the main positives is it creates a better sense of unity. What I mean by this is that everyone will wear the same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clothes and
they have a single identity.
For instance
, a recent survey has revealed that children who
are restricted
to the same outfit are more proficient in their studies owing to the sense of equality they feel among their peers.
Therefore
, by adopting this principle will deter the individuality among the students.

Secondly
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
parents to save time and money spent on shopping for hall clothes.
For example
, the parents will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with picky children who demand expensive brand or a certain type of clothing.
In addition
, this will benefit middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
parents.

Turning to the other side of the argument, the obsession to the strict dress code may lead to mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s take an example in connection with music;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who listen to the same song
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
frustrated over a period of time, the same thing is happening with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
uniform. In short, this can affect their mental health and cognitive abilities.

Another issue is that there is a huge chance of bullying among them. Taunt based on one’s apparel can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence over the child.
Consequently
, the conflict emerges through this are difficult to solve and have a devastating effect.

In conclusion
, sticking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
uniform has their merits and demerits. You need to weigh up the pros of a sense of harmony and less squandering money on clothes, and the cons of having psychological effects and emotional harassment.
Personally
, I believe the benefits in terms of togetherness and savings
eventually
outweigh any negatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours Use specific reasons and examples to support v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
348 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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