Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more young children have mobile phone. Some people say it is a good thing for them, while others say it is a bad thing. What is your opinion? v.2

More and more young children have mobile phone. Some people say it is a good thing for them, while others say it is a bad thing. What is your opinion? v. 2
Mobile has become a popular means of communication and is available at moderate prices. Most of the youngsters carry cell phone with them. Some of the individuals believe that it is beneficial for teenagers while others find it detrimental. In my opinion, I think that although, there are disadvantages of using this device but advantages overweight them. There are plethora of benefits of mobile. Firstly, students those who are staying in hostels, remain in touch with their family and friends through this communication device. Secondly, children can call parents during their way to or from the educational institute in case of emergency. Thirdly, wireless telephone helps youngsters in their studies and doing assignments. Phones with internet access facilitates children to search the topics online and complete their assessments. Moreover, scholars can find the meanings of difficult words easily and within few seconds by installing applications of dictionary on their cell phones. It is not possible to carry a dictionary along them all the time. So, in this case mobile phones are beneficial as they are portable. Lastly, young people can download brainstorming games, such as word forming, chess etctera, to play in their leisure time to refresh mind. Moving further, there are also disadvantages. Students waste most of their time on playing games, listening to music, chatting with online friends, etctera. It impacts their grades in examinations as well as their health, for example, weak eyesight. In conclusion, I would like to say that wireless phones has pros and cons. Parents should make their children understand about the drawbacks of excessive use of phones and encourage them to use this device for productive tasks so that drawbacks can be turned into benefits.
Mobile has become a popular means of communication and is available at moderate prices. Most of the youngsters carry cell
phone
with them.
Some of the
individuals believe that it is beneficial for
teenagers
while others find it detrimental. In my opinion, I
think
that although, there are disadvantages of using this device
but
advantages overweight them.

There are plethora of benefits of mobile.
Firstly
, students those who are staying in hostels, remain in touch with their family and friends through this communication device.
Secondly
, children can call parents during their way to or from the educational institute in case of emergency.
Thirdly
, wireless telephone
helps
youngsters in their studies and doing assignments.
Phones
with internet access facilitates children to search the topics online and complete their assessments.

Moreover
, scholars can find the meanings of difficult words
easily
and within few seconds by installing applications of dictionary on their cell
phones
. It is not possible to carry a dictionary along them all the time.
So
,
in this case
mobile
phones
are beneficial as they are portable.
Lastly
, young
people
can download brainstorming games, such as word forming, chess
etctera
, to play in their leisure time to refresh mind.

Moving
further
, there are
also
disadvantages. Students waste most of their time on playing games, listening to music, chatting with online friends,
etctera
. It impacts their grades in examinations
as well
as their health,
for example
, weak eyesight.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that wireless
phones
has pros and cons. Parents should
make
their children understand about the drawbacks of excessive
use
of
phones
and encourage them to
use
this device for productive tasks
so
that drawbacks can
be turned
into benefits.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more young children have mobile phone. Some people say it is a good thing for them, while others say it is a bad thing. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts