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TPO26 – Independent: A/D? It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent's jobs than to choose jobs that very different from their parent's job. v.2

TPO26 – Independent: A/D? It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent's jobs than to choose jobs that very different from their parent's job. v. 2
In such a sophisticated world, every child has to choose a suitable job regarding his conditions. In this regard, some people are inclined toward the opinion that children should choose the same job as their parents whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective. The way I see it, children will be successful if they choose a job that they enjoy and is different from their parents' jobs because it can be beneficial for the person and the society. What follows is the elaboration of my viewpoint. Every job requires special personality. Regarding the fact that different people with diverse characteristics - including emotional, calm, introverted, extroverted, social, and the like - can cope with specific tasks, children may not be able to do their parents' occupation. Take a child whose mother is a surgeon, for instance. This child is afraid of seeing blood so if his mother encourages him to become a doctor, he will never be a successful and good doctor. Another important aspect that choosing a favorite job influences on is that the child can always use his initiative. When children opt a similar occupation to their parents, the parents always step in and exhort children to act the same. For example, my friend is a teacher the same as her father. Although my friend believes that rewards are more effective than punishments, her father incites her to punish the students to make them study their lessons. She says that she has lost her creativity since she has selected her father' s job. Besides the aforementioned benefits of opting the interested occupation for people' s lives, it should be noted that the society needs particular jobs to develop in each step. Regarding to the history of developed countries, different job positions are required for the countries to improve their social, political and economic conditions. For instance, a job position such as a simple labor is less required compared to a knowledgeable worker in an industrialized country. Considering the effects of personally selected job on the person' s life and the society, it is obvious that children should choose their desired job even different from their parents' job. In fact, children become more creative, work based on their attribute, and are guided into a effective job for the society.
In such a sophisticated world, every
child
has to
choose
a suitable
job
regarding his conditions. In this regard,
some
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that
children
should
choose
the same
job
as their
parents
whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective. The way I
see
it,
children
will be successful if they
choose
a
job
that they enjoy and is
different
from their
parents&
#039;
jobs
because
it can be beneficial for the person and the
society
. What follows is the elaboration of my viewpoint.

Every
job
requires special personality. Regarding the fact that
different
people
with diverse characteristics
-
including emotional, calm, introverted, extroverted, social, and the like
-
can cope with specific tasks,
children
may not be able to do their
parents&
#039; occupation. Take a
child
whose mother is a surgeon,
for instance
. This
child
is afraid of seeing blood
so
if his mother encourages him to become a doctor, he will never be a successful and
good
doctor.

Another
important
aspect that choosing a favorite
job
influences on is that the
child
can always
use
his initiative. When
children
opt a similar occupation to their
parents
, the
parents
always step in and exhort
children
to act the same.
For example
, my friend is a teacher the same as her father. Although my friend believes that rewards are more effective than punishments, her father incites her to punish the students to
make
them study their lessons. She says that she has lost her creativity since she has selected her
father&
#039; s job.

Besides
the aforementioned benefits of opting the interested occupation for
people&
#039; s
lives
, it should
be noted
that the
society
needs particular
jobs
to develop in each step.
Regarding to
the history of
developed countries
,
different
job
positions
are required
for the countries to
improve
their social, political and economic conditions.
For instance
, a
job
position such as a simple labor is less required
compared
to a knowledgeable worker in an industrialized country.

Considering the effects of
personally
selected
job
on the
person&
#039; s life and the
society
, it is obvious that
children
should
choose
their desired
job
even
different
from their
parents&
#039;
job
. In fact,
children
become more creative, work based on their attribute, and
are guided
into
a
effective
job
for the
society
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO26 – Independent: A/D? It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent's jobs than to choose jobs that very different from their parent's job. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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