Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

DO you agree or disagree? It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent’s job than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent’ job. v.202

It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent’s job than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent’ job. v. 202
There is no doubt that students should have an occupation that is highly different from their family' s job. It arouses much controversy among members of particular people with different perspective due to distinctive experience about whether choosing a great career that is analogous to their families or not. In order to substantiate my vantage point, I would like to address some of the key points: having a great deal of interest is vital, working in a task that has an excessive money. In the first place, the most noticeable merit of the notion pertaining to the interest and avid in life. We all know that having a great deal of interest in each task is imperative. As a matter of the fact, job has a pivotal role in the society. What' s more, when a students select a particular job which is identical to his parents as well, they do not like it, she would not be success without any hesitation due to the fact that one of the most important consideration for being a prosperous man is a eager spirit. As a result having a sense of love although is differ from their parents is greatly worthwhile. A concrete example for this issue, when I was studying at university a abroad one of my college classmates was not active, owing to the fact that she select major which his father coerced him. As a consequence, she did not pay more heed to his task. Besides, she was immensely upset most of the time. This experience taught me that students should allocate their time and money for a major which they like it not similar to the families. Needless to say, under this circumstance, this difference has a plethora of benefits, which is valuable. Along the same line, another privilege of the above mentioned, having a tremendous amount of money. All of us know that money is an indispensable criteria in the community. everybody should take a job, which has a huge number money such as professor or Doctor. Another subtle explanation for this matter, some careers such as carpenter and driver got lower income. Besides, this jobs have a slightly prestigious in the community. Hence, students should consider that their parent' s job is lucrative or not. One of the striking example for this matter, one of my roommate has become a successful man all over the world since, he have a job which is profitable, nevertheless, his task is differ from his father. Considering all the detail we should understand that money is the most consideration in life which is crucial for healthy and so forth. Nonetheless, a variety of ideas are opposed this opinions, they claims that taking a new job is risk in spite of the fact money is significant. having a massive dexterity and experience is more substantial. To put the issue into perspective by taking into account these entire aspects we can safely draw the conclusion that we should contemplate that having a variety personality is superb for success. Opinions are highly personal. Consequently, as a final statement, I would like to point out that students did not limit to their parent' s job.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have an occupation
that is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It arouses much controversy among members of particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective due to distinctive experience about whether choosing a great career
that is
analogous to their families or not. In order to substantiate my vantage point, I would like to address
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
key points:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a great deal of interest is vital, working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
that has
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "excessive money".
an excessive money
.

In the
first
place, the most noticeable merit of the notion pertaining to the interest and avid in life. We all know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a great deal of interest in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
is imperative. As a matter of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has a pivotal role in the society.
Possible spelling mistake found.
What&
#039; s more, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
select a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which is identical to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
, they do not like it, she would not be success without any hesitation due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration for being a prosperous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
eager spirit.
As a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a sense of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
although is
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
greatly
worthwhile. A concrete example for this issue, when I was studying at university
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
abroad one of my college classmates was not active, owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that she select major which his father coerced him. As a consequence, she did not pay more heed to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
.
Besides
, she was
immensely
upset most of the time. This experience taught me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should allocate their time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for a major which they like it not similar to the families. Needless to say, under this circumstance, this difference has a plethora of benefits, which is valuable.

Along the same line, another privilege of the above mentioned,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a tremendous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. All of us know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an indispensable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "criterion"?
criteria
in the community.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
everybody
should take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, which has a huge number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
such as professor or Doctor. Another subtle explanation for this matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
careers such as carpenter and driver
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lower income.
Besides
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have a
slightly
prestigious in the community.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should consider that their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is lucrative or not. One of the striking example for this matter, one of my roommate has become a successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
all over the world since, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which is profitable,
nevertheless
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
is
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
from his father. Considering all the detail we should understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the most consideration in life which is crucial for healthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. Nonetheless, a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are opposed
Did you mean "these"?
this
opinions, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "claim"
claims
that taking a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is significant.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
having
a massive dexterity and experience is more substantial.

To put the issue into perspective by taking into account these entire aspects we can
safely
draw the conclusion that we should contemplate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a variety personality is superb for success. Opinions are
highly
personal.
Consequently
, as a final statement, I would like to point out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
did not limit to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent’s job than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent’ job. v. 202

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
531 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts