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Tpo21Do agree or disagree with the following statement: Your friends are the most important influence in your life. v.1

Tpo21Do agree or disagree with the following statement: Your friends are the most important influence in your life. v. 1
Some time ago a majority of the people preferred to live in small hamlets where they know to each other well. In these times a lot of them have chosen to be able in the largest towns with the least number of acquaintances. In my opinion, there are several examples why it's a priority to live in a small community. Firstly, from an ecological point of view, it is important for our health. According to science sources the largest percentage of pollution is caused by transport, which is typical of towns. One clear example is Almaty with million of population. Despite its charm the city has a level of pollution above acceptable standards. It could have affected on respiratory, blood systems, skins, immunity of people, which leads to such diseases as asthma, allergy, bronchitis, hypertension and this is considered the norm for residences. Some of the diseases can purchase chronic stage. That in rural areas we see the otherwise. There is fresh air without any gas contamination. Secondly, more natural feeding than in the city. Thirdly, kids spent their leisure time actively, villagers can enjoy access to a free weekend like fishing, relaxing on the beach, going for mushrooms and berries to the forest. Another option could be, living in villages means refusal, rejection of the benefits of civilization. This will cause some problems with the supply of natural gas, electricity, internet connection and water. Also in countries there is a low salary and a low vacancy rate. To sum up, based on the above, I believe that more and more people would be healthy by eating a quality meal and live in a natural environment without harm to the well-being despite the benefits of civilization.
Some
time ago a majority of the
people
preferred to
live
in
small
hamlets where they know to each other well. In these times
a lot of
them have chosen to be able in the largest towns with the least number of acquaintances.

In my opinion, there are several examples why it's a priority to
live
in a
small
community.
Firstly
, from an ecological point of view, it is
important
for our health. According to science sources the largest percentage of pollution
is caused
by transport, which is typical of towns. One
clear
example is Almaty with
million
of population. Despite its charm the city has a level of pollution above acceptable standards. It could have
affected
on respiratory, blood systems, skins, immunity of
people
, which leads to such diseases as asthma, allergy, bronchitis, hypertension and this
is considered
the norm for residences.
Some of the
diseases can
purchase
chronic stage. That in rural areas we
see
the
otherwise
. There is fresh air without any gas contamination.
Secondly
, more natural feeding than in the city.
Thirdly
, kids spent their leisure time
actively
, villagers can enjoy access to a free weekend like fishing, relaxing on the beach, going for mushrooms and berries to the forest.

Another option could be, living in villages means refusal, rejection of the benefits of civilization. This will cause
some
problems with the supply of natural gas, electricity, internet connection and water.
Also
in countries there is a low salary and a low vacancy rate.

To sum up, based on the above, I believe that more and more
people
would be healthy by eating a quality meal and
live
in a natural environment without harm to the well-being despite the benefits of civilization.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Tpo21Do agree or disagree with the following statement: Your friends are the most important influence in your life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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