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TPO18-relict behaviorUsing the example of the pronghorn and lion, explain the concept of a relict behavior. v.1

TPO18-relict behaviorUsing the example of the pronghorn and lion, explain the concept of a relict behavior. v. 1
It is considered by some that the government need to spend a lot of money to build a very fast train between cities, but there are others who believe that existing public transport improvement is more important. In my opinion, both improving public transportation and constructing new railway line are necessary, so the amount of money spent has to be balanced with one another. On the one hand, the government must build some kind of access to increase the profit for bad economy cities. In other words, the government does not have any other choices and have to invest a large sum of money to grow the economy of low profit cities. Take for example, Yogyakarta which has now become one of the most popular city in central Java due to the new constructed railway lines from Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia. As a result, Yogyakarta economy rises dramatically because people start going there with multiple purposes, including travelling, studying, job hunting, etc. Thus, building a new infrastructure, such as a new railway line for very fast trains between cities, would make a significant effect to the economic growth. On the other hand, some money need to be poured for improving and maintaining public transport facilities. If the public transportation was not convenient and comfortable to use, many people would start to avoid using the transportation. Consequently, the projects will be considered as a failure and a waste of money. That's why other than developing a new infrastructure, the government need to always keep a close look at the existing public transportation. In conclusion, both improving public transport and building a new infrastructure were important because this would lead into a better economy and ensuring the existing public transport not to be wasted.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to build a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
train between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are others who believe that existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
improvement is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In my opinion, both improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation and constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway line are necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be balanced
with one another.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of access to increase the profit for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
choices and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest a large sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to grow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of low profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Take
for example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yogyakarta
which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become one of the most popular city in central Java due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
constructed railway lines from Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia.
As a result
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yogyakarta
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
rises
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
going there with multiple purposes, including travelling, studying, job hunting, etc.
Thus
, building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
infrastructure, such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway line for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
trains between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant effect to the economic growth.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
need to
be poured
for improving and maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
facilities. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation was not convenient and comfortable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to avoid using the transportation.
Consequently
, the projects will
be considered
as a failure and a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. That's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than developing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
infrastructure, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need to always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close look at the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.

In conclusion
, both improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
infrastructure were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this would lead into a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and ensuring the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
not to
be wasted
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO18-relict behaviorUsing the example of the pronghorn and lion, explain the concept of a relict behavior. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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