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TPO 51 - Question 3The woman expresses her opinion about the letter-writer's proposal. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v.1

TPO 51 - Question 3The woman expresses her opinion about the letter-writer's proposal. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
It is undeniable that modernization has changed the way people are living and spending their time. Therefore, some folks contend that these days people are getting disturbed either mentally or physically due to the pressure of the modern life and it has been effecting their family life. This essay will argue why people are so stressful in the fast- paced era and as a result they are neglecting their family relationships and I totally agree with the statement. To begin with, people are working longer hours than ever in order to earn high salaries for the quality of life, but it hinders the people to spend some time with their families and this is a big hurdle which causes the mutual misunderstanding among the family members. For instance, there have been some recorded instances of people who tend to choose a whole week job in order to pay their expenses but at the same time they are totally disconnected with their families. These few instances make it clear that working overtime by putting themselves under the unfavourable conditions spoiling the family life immensely. Moreover, there is an another reason which is equally contributing for distracting someone from the family. It is seen that these days people opt the high demanding jobs which are quite target-oriented and they have to complete the required target in a particular time period which might be pressurized for the workers and for the completion of those target people have to work even in holiday or late night. In that they do not have enough time which could be devoted to the family. In addition, that kind of work demands the frequent travelling to other countries and places which also deprives the people from their loved ones. Indeed, one research article suggests that 60% reasons of divorce are the lack of time that people often spend with their partners because they consider themselves busier. Thus, no family life will exist if there will be no time. In conclusion, people who are in favour that the fast paced era has been creating distances among the families have an entire understanding. Overall, it has been very crucial to keep working for the better lifestyle, but certainly it is also essential to keep the family bonding intact and to balance one's personal and professional life.
It is undeniable that modernization has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living and spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks contend that these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting disturbed either mentally or
physically
due to the pressure of the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and it has been effecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This essay will argue why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
stressful in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
- paced era and
as a result
they are neglecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships and I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working longer hours than ever in order to earn high salaries for the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it hinders the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hurdle which causes the mutual misunderstanding among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
For instance
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recorded instances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to choose a whole week job in order to pay their expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they are
totally
disconnected with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. These few instances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that working overtime by putting themselves under the
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
conditions spoiling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
immensely
.

Moreover
, there is
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a reason" or "another reason".
an another reason
which is
equally
contributing for distracting someone from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt the high demanding jobs which are quite
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
target-oriented and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
complete the required target in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period which might
be pressurized
for the workers and for the completion of those target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work even in holiday or late night. In that they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which could
be devoted
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
In addition
, that kind of work demands the frequent travelling to other countries and places which
also
deprives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Indeed
, one research article suggests that 60% reasons of divorce are the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend with their partners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consider themselves busier.
Thus
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will exist if there will be no time.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced era has been creating distances among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have an entire understanding.
Overall
, it has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working for the better lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
certainly
it is
also
essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding intact and to balance one's personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 51 - Question 3The woman expresses her opinion about the letter-writer's proposal. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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