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Relict BehaviorIn general, animals act in ways that help them to survive within their specific habitats. However, sometimes an animal species may display a behavior that no longer serves a clear purpose. The original purpose for the behavior may have disa v.1

Relict BehaviorIn general, animals act in ways that help them to survive within their specific habitats. However, sometimes an animal species may display a behavior that no longer serves a clear purpose. The original purpose for the behavior may have disa v. 1
There is an opinion that by getting older people at the age of 60 and more are not able to work even can cause some problems. This essay will partly show an argument as the age is not obstacle as well as can make some social problems. In today's job market, many older people desire to stay and carry on doing their job even if they are retired. It is a wrong opinion that individuals after pension can not bring benefits to employers because their experience and knowledge can be valuable and significantly important for companies. For example, in Kazakhstan many teachers continue teaching after retirement because there is a permanent dismissal among young tutors and mostly only old teachers stay for a long time in one place and bring their benefits in the educational sphere. Thus, it makes us clear why outdated employees are beneficial. However, the people of the respectable age can hinder young generation because many organisations would like to have experienced, qualified workers and do not want to hire not experienced employees as a result many graduates after institutions suffer from unemployment. Moreover, young individuals can be more active, full of energy flexible and easy to learn. For instance, now it is the century where almost all working places are computerised and the young are better at it rather than the adults. Therefore, old workers can cause some issues. In conclusion, the opinion that the older generation are not able to employ and can bring some drawbacks is wrong thoughts. There are no obstacles for human beings in spite of the old age.
There is an opinion that by getting older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 60 and more are not able to work even can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems. This essay will partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an argument as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is not obstacle
as well
as can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social problems.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's job market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
desire to stay and carry on doing their job even if they
are retired
. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
opinion that individuals after pension can not bring benefits to employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their experience and knowledge can be valuable and
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
For example
, in Kazakhstan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
teachers continue teaching after retirement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a permanent dismissal among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
tutors and
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
teachers stay for a long time in one place and bring their benefits in the educational sphere.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why outdated employees are beneficial.

However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the respectable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
can hinder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
would like to have experienced, qualified workers and do not want to hire not experienced employees
as a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduates after institutions suffer from unemployment.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals can be more active, full of energy flexible and easy to learn.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is the century where almost all working places are
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are better at it
rather
than the adults.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
workers can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues.

In conclusion
, the opinion that the older generation are not able to employ and can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
thoughts. There are no obstacles for human beings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Relict BehaviorIn general, animals act in ways that help them to survive within their specific habitats. However, sometimes an animal species may display a behavior that no longer serves a clear purpose. The original purpose for the behavior may have disa v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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