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TPO (S4-Q2): Many universities now offer academic courses over the Internet. However, some people still prefer learning in traditional classrooms. Which do you think is better? explain why. v.1

TPO (S4-Q2): Many universities now offer academic courses over the Internet. However, some people still prefer learning in traditional classrooms. Which do you think is better? explain why. v. 1
In most of the developing nations work satisfaction considered as a luxury because, it is linked to the employee’s professional as well as the personal life. In my opinion, the job satisfaction is extremely important and if an employee is happy with his work, he will perform very efficiently and productively. The work ethics and daily practices are defined in most the companies by the human resource department. If these policies are really satisfying the employee’s expectations they will definitely love their job. In developing countries, an organization are providing facilities such as, healthy working environment, life and health insurances including their family, availing work from home, yearly increments and bonus’s etc. These all facilities are means a lot for an employee during his or her employment serving period. For example, according to a survey conducted in the Canada on happiness index relating to their work life, which exemplifies, 85% the people are happy with their employment and they believe it is all driven well as a treat due to standardization of the work practices. In addition to this, job satisfaction plays a vital role in an employee’s personal life too. The people who are really like what they are doing, they serve better, efficiently and more productively. The satisfied employee’s personal and professional life is stress free, and then they can enjoy their life fully. Such kinds of person’s have fewer complaints about their life, work and even family as –well. For example, in reference to a survey conducted by Unicef Inc. , in 2010 regarding an employment satisfaction and they were interviewed around 2000 people around the globe. They came to result that, the people who are satisfied with their work are happier as comparing to unsatisfied one, they have more time for their family and regularly they enjoy short picnic plans with their family and friends. To conclude, in my opinion, considering the job satisfaction as a luxury really worth it, when, it comes to happiness on the personal as well the professional level. At the end of the day job satisfaction really matter in everyone’s life.
In most of the developing nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
considered as a luxury
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it
is linked
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
professional as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is happy with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, he will perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficiently
and
productively
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ethics and daily practices
are defined
in most the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
by the human resource department.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
these policies are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
satisfying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
expectations they will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, an organization are providing facilities such as, healthy working environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and health insurances including their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, availing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, yearly increments and bonus’s etc. These all facilities are means a lot for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
employment serving period.
For example
, according to a survey conducted in the Canada on happiness index relating to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which exemplifies, 85% the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happy with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employment and
they believe it is all driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as a treat due to standardization of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
practices.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
plays a vital role in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
too. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
like what they are doing, they serve better,
efficiently
and more
productively
. The satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free, and then they can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
fully
. Such kinds of person’s have fewer complaints about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
–well
.
For example
, in reference to a survey conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unicef
Inc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
in 2010 regarding an employment
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
satisfaction and
they
were interviewed
around 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe. They came to result that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are satisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are happier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
comparing to unsatisfied one, they have more time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
regularly
they enjoy short picnic plans with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends.

To conclude
, in my opinion, considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
as a luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
worth it, when, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to happiness on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
the professional level. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
matter in everyone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay TPO (S4-Q2): Many universities now offer academic courses over the Internet. However, some people still prefer learning in traditional classrooms. Which do you think is better? explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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