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TPO 09 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 09 Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is often argued by some that the invention of new technology creates more issues instead of providing advantages. In my opinion, I disagree with the above assertion because it helps people to travel across the world and know more about the atmospheric changes earlier. To begin with, the advancement of innovation aids the populace to move from one place to another faster. In other words, in earlier days, it was hard to go to the nearest city because of less commutation, whereas with the introduction of aircraft people are moving from one country to another. For example, the invention helps the researchers to reach the moon and take the images of all other planes from space without any trouble. Thus, it enhances the knowledge of all the human beings and make them to live an easy lifestyle. Admittedly, the modern invention helps the people to know the weather forecast in advance which help them to prevent from any disasters. For instance, the farmers and the fisherman work depend on the climatic condition and when they know them earlier, they can protect themselves and their belongings. Although, it has some drawbacks that modern technology will make the people to live a sedentary lifestyle and damage the environment, it provides enormous benefit which outweighs the demerits. Therefore, the development in technology aid the people to identify the calamities in advance and take measures to prevent from any repercussions. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that the modern innovation brings more benefits as it helps people to navigate anywhere in the world and predict the natural disasters and prevent the loss that might occur to the society.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the invention of new technology creates more issues
instead
of providing advantages. In my opinion, I disagree with the above assertion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel across the world and know more about the atmospheric
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
earlier.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the advancement of innovation aids the populace to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to another faster.
In other words
, in earlier days, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to go to the nearest city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less commutation, whereas with the introduction of aircraft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving from one country to another.
For example
, the invention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the researchers to reach the moon and take the images of all other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
from space without any trouble.
Thus
, it enhances the knowledge of all the human beings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an easy lifestyle.

Admittedly
, the modern invention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know the weather forecast in advance which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from any disasters.
For instance
, the farmers and the fisherman work depend on the climatic condition and when they know them earlier, they can protect themselves and their belongings. Although, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that modern technology will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a sedentary lifestyle and damage the environment, it provides enormous benefit which outweighs the demerits.
Therefore
, the development in technology aid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to identify the calamities in advance and take measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from any repercussions.

In conclusion
, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the modern innovation brings more benefits as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to navigate anywhere in the world and predict the natural disasters and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the loss that might occur to the society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 09 Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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