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Describe a class you have taken and explain why that class was important to you. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

Describe a class you have taken and explain why that class was important to you. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
Some people believe that the only purpose of the films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Film industries rose significantly in recent decades due to technological development whereby improving people’s choices of entertaining. Some people believe that satisfying a personal interest is the only purpose of watching movies. Others have reservations about this opinion, arguing that educational value should be added into films besides its entertainment value. Although movies should help audiences feel relaxed, I personally believe that life’s lessons should also be included into films. On the one hand, the entertainment factor plays the key role in every film because the vast majority of audiences would prefer an amusing movie than a deadly dull movie. According to some research, watching a movie, especially comedy, can be a solution to tackle the depression as well as helping improve child’s fertile imagination because it decreases the stress hormone in the body called “ Cortisol “. For instance, I made a survey to find out what kind of entertaining tools can be considered a worthy time-consuming. The result came out was approximately sixty percent of reporters prefer watching movie than playing video games or reading books. On the other hand, educational value should be considered to be added into every movie because not only it brings several lessons of life but also develop the awareness of the society. Especially when children watch educational movies, it can be a healthy development of their personality as well as teaching them what real life is. Furthermore, movie can be used as an efficient tool for parents to teach their children numerous lessons of life. To illustrate, there are a bunch of researches which concluded educational films are important for a child’s development because the young mostly prefers watching than reading. In conclusion, the educational value is necessary besides entertaining because it helps audiences feel relaxed as well as teaching valuable lessons for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
purpose of the films is to entertain. Others say films should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Film industries rose
significantly
in recent decades due to technological development whereby improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s choices of entertaining.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that satisfying a personal interest is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
purpose of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. Others have reservations about this opinion, arguing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into films
besides
its entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
audiences feel relaxed, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
should
also
be included
into films.

On the one hand, the entertainment factor plays the key role in every film
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the vast majority of audiences would prefer an amusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
than a deadly dull
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research, watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
,
especially
comedy, can be a solution to tackle the depression
as well
as helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
child’s fertile imagination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it decreases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
hormone in the body called
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
Cortisol “.
For instance
, I made a survey to find out what kind of entertaining tools can
be considered
a worthy time-consuming. The result came out was approximately sixty percent of reporters prefer watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
than playing video games or reading books.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
should
be considered
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it brings several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop the awareness of the society.
Especially
when children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, it can be a healthy development of their personality
as well
as teaching them what real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as an efficient tool for parents to teach their children numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate, there are a bunch of researches which concluded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
films are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a child’s development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the young
mostly
prefers watching than reading.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
is necessary
besides
entertaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
audiences feel relaxed
as well
as teaching valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
for them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Describe a class you have taken and explain why that class was important to you. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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