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TPO- 54 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO- 54 Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
The tourist industry is surging due to advancement of latest technology. By this consequence, the majority of people who like to travel all around the world has also risen as well as air transport is promoting. So, I intend to explore that this practice has many harmful effects of the status. However, it can be reduced along with few essential actions. To regard with some challenges which put bad effects upon the surrounding. Firstly, it is true that humanity get lots of benefits as a tourist like to get exploration, expand business and so on. Yet, somewhere, it's put negative impacts of increasing air pollution, which act as ruin the beauty of native places as long as it is responsible to create global warming. Due to high temperature, people cannot survive comfortably. Moreover, flights making process is not easy to made because it contains lots of natural things like coal, petroleum, metal and so on valuable goods. As a result, material may be wasted which may be used for making others shipment facilities. Through this, natural materials perhs diminished as well as costly. Moving further with some successful methods which help to tackle with this problem. The first point is that l, the authority should give permission for making flights while keeping diverse effects in their mind because climate is the first priority. Therefor, the state should make strict legislation in the favour of protecting and improving the healthy surroundings and lessen air pollution further step is that, people should use others transit services if they have to work in their own nation. As this, human begins can put effective efforts to reduce pollution. In conclusion, tourists are fruitful habits along with few detrimental influences of setting. Therefore, with the help of government and individual actions it can be decreased and resolve.
The tourist industry is surging due to advancement of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology. By this consequence, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who like to travel all around the world has
also
risen
as well
as air transport is promoting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I intend to explore that this practice has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful effects of the status.
However
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
along with few essential actions.

To regard with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges which put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects upon the surrounding.
Firstly
, it is true that humanity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lots of benefits as a tourist like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exploration, expand business and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Yet
, somewhere, it's put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of increasing air pollution, which act as ruin the beauty of native places as long as it is responsible to create global warming. Due to high temperature,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot survive
comfortably
.
Moreover
, flights making process is not easy to made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it contains lots of natural things like coal, petroleum, metal and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
As a result
, material may
be wasted
which may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for making others shipment facilities. Through this, natural materials
Possible spelling mistake found.
perhs
diminished
as well
as costly.

Moving
further
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
successful methods which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to tackle with this problem. The
first
point is that l, the authority should give permission for making flights while keeping diverse effects in their mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
climate is the
first
priority. Therefor, the state should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict legislation in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of protecting and improving the healthy surroundings and lessen air pollution
further
step is that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
others transit services if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation. As this, human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
can put effective efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution.

In conclusion
, tourists are fruitful habits along with few detrimental influences of setting.
Therefore
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individual actions it can
be decreased
and resolve.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO- 54 Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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