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Do you agree or disagree? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. v.67

Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. v. 67
Today, many facts relate to environmental problems, but, endangered plants and wildlife are the most severe consequences of our worsening environment. Surely, the other reasons can be arguable such as pollution of air and water, deforestation and desertification. Most people think that climate change is the main and the most serious problem we have to deal with. This essay will discuss both views and conclude that they are interrelated. Around the earth, breeds of animals and plants are facing to extinct. The rapid rise in the human population and as a consequence of this, the consumption is related. Forests are getting cut where mean to be home for all species to make giant farmlands. Our oceans are polluted by waste of gigantic companies and due to overfishing, our undersea life is threatened by extinction. For example, a new, devastating food trend is rising from China, which is actually horrific to think. Most people want to taste shark soup because it is too popular nowadays. But on the other side of this story, the shark's fins cut out and leave them back to the ocean by humans. Which means leave them to die in the deep of the ocean for just a glimpse of enthusiasm. And this is not just linked to dying sharks also related to the whole ecosystem in the world. The whole underwater ecosystem faces collapse, which can be catastrophic for the planet earth. Besides, other problems exist aside from just loss of kinds. Major environmental problems recently include climate change. This is caused by many factors such as air pollution and loss of forests and coral reefs. And in return, these events come back to us as another problem like desertification. Ultimately, this situation could lead mankind to its extinction and destruction of the planet. However, it can be clearly seen that the loss of kinds outweighs the other environmental problems. Above all, when we kill certain animals and plants, we are also disturbing to working of nature and contributing to the fluctuation of climate indirectly. And all these environmental tragedies bring the life on the planet closer to destruction. In conclusion, while I consider the impact of recurring natural disasters to be important, in my opinion, facing the extinction of wildlife is the most disastrous threat to our planet earth. That's why we have to protect the biodiversity of our earth to move on.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facts relate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, endangered plants and wildlife are the most severe consequences of our worsening environment.
Surely
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons can be arguable such as pollution of air and water, deforestation and desertification. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the main and the most serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with. This essay will discuss both views and conclude that they
are interrelated
.

Around the earth, breeds of animals and plants are facing to extinct. The rapid rise in the human population and as a consequence of this, the consumption
is related
. Forests are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
where mean to be home for all species to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
giant farmlands. Our oceans
are polluted
by waste of gigantic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and due to overfishing, our undersea life
is threatened
by extinction.
For example
, a new, devastating food trend is rising from China, which is actually horrific to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to taste shark soup
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is too popular nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of this story, the shark's fins
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them back to the ocean by humans. Which means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in the deep of the ocean for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a glimpse of enthusiasm. And this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
linked to dying sharks
also
related to the whole ecosystem in the world. The whole underwater ecosystem faces collapse, which can be catastrophic for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
earth.

Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
exist aside from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
loss of kinds. Major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
recently include climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. This
is caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as air pollution and loss of forests and coral reefs. And in return, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to us as another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
like desertification.
Ultimately
, this situation could lead mankind to its extinction and destruction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
.
However
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the loss of kinds outweighs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Above all
, when we kill certain animals and plants, we are
also
disturbing to working of nature and contributing to the fluctuation of climate
indirectly
. And all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
tragedies bring the life on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
closer to destruction.

In conclusion
, while I consider the impact of recurring natural disasters to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, in my opinion, facing the extinction of wildlife is the most disastrous threat to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
earth. That's why we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect the biodiversity of our earth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. v. 67

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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