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Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is b v.7

Question: Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is b v. 7
In the recent times, the technology has certainly revolutionized various sectors. However, this will lead to the change in the ways people are making the communication. The essay will discuss the paths are used by the people to maintain their relationship and my opinion; this is the positive development. To begin with, the predominant reason for the path used for the communication is the internet. This is an advancement which provides the medium for the people to connect over the world using the audio call, a text message and video calls. This will help to strengthen their relationship. Moreover, people can make new friends over the social media. This will help them to enjoy their free time even they can share their knowledge also. Although this will increase an individual’s professional and personal contact, in the past, people were using the letter for the communication which take a longer time. For example, nowadays, using the Whatsapp, people can communicate within a fraction of a second. On the other hands, this diversity has provided many positive points to an individual. The first merit is that people can get the support from their family members and friends by communicating with them. This will provide support for their loved ones. Furthermore, this form of communication is less expensive and save time. As a person can make contact using this technology so there is no need to travel for the long distance to meet the person personally. For instance, people can conduct their business meeting over the internet which save their time and money needed to travel to another place. In conclusion, there are many positive points compared to the negative ones. This advancement provides the new platform through which a person can expand their relationship. Even this will also help to save their money and time.
In the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the technology has
certainly
revolutionized various sectors.
However
, this will lead to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. The essay will discuss the paths are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain their relationship and my opinion; this is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the predominant reason for the path
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is the internet. This is an advancement which provides the medium for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect over the world using the audio call, a text message and video calls. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to strengthen their relationship.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends over the social media. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to enjoy their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
even they can share their knowledge
also
. Although this will increase an individual’s professional and personal contact, in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were using the letter for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
which take a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, nowadays, using the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate within a fraction of a second.

On the other hands, this diversity has provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points to an individual. The
first
merit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the support from their family members and friends by communicating with them. This will provide support for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Furthermore
, this form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is less expensive and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contact using this technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no need to travel for the long distance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the person
personally
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can conduct their business meeting over the internet which save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money needed to travel to another place.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones. This advancement provides the new platform through which a person can expand their relationship. Even this will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save their money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is b v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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