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TPO 2- task 1Choose a place you go to often that is important to you and explain why it is important. . v.1

TPO 2- task 1Choose a place you go to often that is important to you and explain why it is important. . v. 1
Population has increased dramatically in most countries around the world, especially in urban areas. Beside fostering the economic development, the increase of the population makes societies to cope with a number of unanticipated new problems. This essay will address some of the serious issues and propose solutions. One of the major problems of overcrowding in urban areas is the high cost of living, it is widely accepted that exceeding population exerts pressure on resources for survival and the difficulty of accessing to a consistent supply of shelter, security, fresh food and water, health care. Although, the difference between demand and supply continues to expand, and the price of commodities is getting higher, which requires people to pay more to survive and feed their families. Another challenge is the degradation of the environment. Overuse of coal, oil, gas, together with a rise in the number of vehicles and industries led to air and water pollution. Additionally, environmental pollution combined with bad living conditions causes new epidemics and pandemics. There are several solutions to tackle these problems. Firstly, governments should encourage people to settle in suburban areas, by giving people easy loans for new infrastructures and provide them all the facilities for their better the living conditions. Secondly, the authorities can run cleanup campaigns to clean the cities, which may help to decrease infectious diseases. Finally, governments across the globe ought to impose family planning and birth control to combat the stress of high population density in big cities. To recapitulate, enormous social problems such as: poor living standard, high pollution levels and the increase of human diseases, are triggered by overcrowded in metropolitan cities. Failure to tackle this problem now will lead to a disaster in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Population
has increased
dramatically
in most countries around the world,
especially
in urban areas. Beside fostering the economic development, the increase of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
societies to cope with a number of unanticipated new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. This essay will address
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
serious issues and propose solutions.

One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of overcrowding in urban areas is the high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
, it is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that exceeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
exerts pressure on resources for survival and the difficulty of accessing to a consistent supply of shelter, security, fresh food and water, health care. Although, the difference between demand and supply continues to expand, and the price of commodities is getting higher, which requires
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to pay more to survive and feed their families. Another challenge is the degradation of the environment. Overuse of coal, oil, gas, together with a rise in the number of vehicles and industries led to air and water pollution.
Additionally
, environmental pollution combined with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
conditions causes new epidemics and pandemics.

There are several solutions to tackle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to settle in suburban areas, by giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
easy loans for new infrastructures and provide them all the facilities for their better the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
conditions.
Secondly
, the authorities can run cleanup campaigns to clean the cities, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease infectious diseases.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
across the globe ought to impose family planning and birth control to combat the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
density in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

To recapitulate, enormous social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as: poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standard, high pollution levels and the increase of human diseases,
are triggered
by overcrowded in metropolitan cities. Failure to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
will lead to a disaster in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 2- task 1Choose a place you go to often that is important to you and explain why it is important. . v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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