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TPO 53 Writing IndependentDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. v.2

TPO 53 Writing Independent It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. v. 2
In the modern era, every government should allocate sufficient amount of budget to several aspects of society. The government should invest in education, health, and agriculture. However, nowadays some areas need more attention and accordingly, more budget should be considered for reconstructing or improving them including transportation and improving the Internet. The controversial question which arises here is whether it is more important to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. From my vantage point, there should be more on enhancing Internet access and speed. In what follows, two conspicuous reasons will elaborate on my viewpoint. The first aspect to point out is that with the advancement of technology, the Internet has become a widespread demand among people. Most people need the Internet to communicate, gather information about various topics, following the news, and so on. Therefore, it would be difficult for them to imagine a world without the Internet, and they would definitely find difficulty without it. For instance, once I was outside the city and I became lost since my location became unavailable on my mobile GPS and I lost my direction. I tried several times to reconnect, but I had no access to the Internet. Had I had access to the Internet then, I would not have gotten into such trouble. Moreover, the Internet has a great contribution to saving time and energy. People can do a lot of things with less cost and handling various affairs have become more efficient. For instance, using online bank services, people nowadays not only do not spend a lot of time traveling to the banks, waiting for their turn and doing their bank work but also they save a lot of energy since they can do their work anywhere they are. Moreover, they help the environment since they don' t have to travel through the city to do a single task. Furthermore, several organizations' function is totally dependent on the Internet. Many jobs provide online services like online shopping in which a great number of people work. Improving the Internet will definite a country itself since it would help its jobs flourish. Moreover, in recent years, other organizations including transportation, education and even hospitals use the Internet. Therefore, providing better Internet would definitely help them because the more the quality of the Internet is, the more efficient these organizations become. For example, nowadays, many taxis use the Internet. The taxi drivers use the Internet for both finding locations with light traffic which makes the travels much shorter. Besides, they can even find passengers easily using online taxi applications. To recapitulate, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the fact that in modern societies more investment should be made on improving Internet access and quality. Although sufficient budget should be devoted to other areas as well, such as public transportation, the fact that the Internet has exceedingly become a worldwide demand among people necessitates special attention on boosting Internet access. Moreover, several organizations' function depends on access to high-quality Internet.
In the modern era, every
government
should allocate sufficient amount of budget to several aspects of society. The
government
should invest in education, health, and agriculture.
However
, nowadays
some
areas need more attention and
accordingly
, more budget should
be considered
for reconstructing or
improving
them including
transportation
and
improving
the Internet. The controversial question which arises here is whether it is more
important
to spend money to
improve
Internet
access
than to
improve
public
transportation
. From my vantage point, there should be more on enhancing Internet
access
and speed. In what follows, two conspicuous reasons will elaborate on my viewpoint.

The
first
aspect to point out is that with the advancement of technology, the Internet has
become
a widespread demand among
people
. Most
people
need the Internet to communicate, gather information about various topics, following the news, and
so
on.
Therefore
, it would be difficult for them to imagine a world without the Internet, and they would definitely find difficulty without it.
For instance
, once I was outside the city and I became lost since my location became unavailable on my mobile GPS and I lost my direction. I tried several times to reconnect,
but
I had no
access
to the Internet. Had I had
access
to the Internet then, I would not have gotten into such trouble.
Moreover
, the Internet has a great contribution to saving time and energy.
People
can do
a lot of
things with less cost and handling various affairs have
become
more efficient.
For instance
, using
online
bank services,
people
nowadays not
only
do not spend
a lot of
time traveling to the banks, waiting for their turn and doing their bank work
but
also
they save
a lot of
energy since they can do their work anywhere they are.
Moreover
, they
help
the environment since they
don&
#039; t
have to
travel through the city to do a single task.

Furthermore
, several
organizations&
#039; function is
totally
dependent on the Internet.
Many
jobs provide
online
services like
online
shopping in which a great number of
people
work.
Improving
the Internet will
definite
a country itself since it would
help
its jobs flourish.
Moreover
, in recent years, other
organizations
including
transportation
, education and even hospitals
use
the Internet.
Therefore
, providing better Internet would definitely
help
them
because
the more the quality of the Internet is, the more efficient these
organizations
become
.
For example
, nowadays,
many
taxis
use
the Internet. The taxi drivers
use
the Internet for both finding locations with light traffic which
makes
the travels much shorter.
Besides
, they can even find passengers
easily
using
online
taxi applications.

To recapitulate, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the fact that in modern societies more investment should
be made
on
improving
Internet
access
and quality. Although sufficient budget should
be devoted
to other areas
as well
, such as public
transportation
, the fact that the Internet has
exceedingly
become
a worldwide demand among
people
necessitates
special attention on boosting Internet
access
.
Moreover
, several
organizations&
#039; function depends on
access
to high-quality Internet.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay TPO 53 Writing Independent It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
502 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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