Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO 52Do you agree or disagree? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. v.3

TPO 52 The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. v. 3
The difference between generations has become conspicuous more than ever. People of both sides claim that there is a lack of mutual understandings among them. The chokepoint of this controversy is obeying the law. Albeit many people specifically middle-aged mature assert that adolescents should stick to the rules, teenagers believe that rules are just as restricted as a prison. As far as I am concerned, I am an adolescent, so I believe that young adults have many points. First of all, life has been changed these days; therefore, old rules are not a suitable alternative for following by young adults. So, my peers and I think that if we had not disobeyed the rules in the past, the current lives of us would not happen. For example, if Einstein, a famous physician, had followed the old rules, none of these signs of progress would become parts of reality. The point is, He stood upon his idea, hence he knew the fact that old rules should be abandoned to attain enormous amount of benefits. Consequently, why should we not follow his lead? Moreover, the regulations established in societies nowadays are written by the authorities who are old, so they cannot understand the needs of the adolescents efficiently. Therefore, all of the assembled statutes are not appropriately designed to confront Teenagers' needs. For example, In Iran, the government prohibits adolescents to have parties despite the fact that teenagers require these parties in order to release their extra energy and satisfy their desire for adventures. In conclusion, Society should let adolescents choose their destiny by themselves. Obeying limited rules is neither a good way nor a perfect option for society salvation. Therefore, allow young adults to act freely not only is not a waste of social potential but also it can cause society blooming. So, in my opinion, middle-aged adults should let teenagers follow their dreams.
The difference between generations has become conspicuous more than ever.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
of both sides claim that there is a lack of mutual understandings among them. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
chokepoint
of this controversy is obeying the law. Albeit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
specifically
middle-aged mature assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
should stick to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as restricted as a prison. As far as I
am concerned
, I am an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescent
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I believe that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
points.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, life has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
these days;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are not a suitable alternative for following by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, my peers and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if we had not disobeyed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in the past, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of us would not happen.
For example
, if Einstein, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
physician, had followed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, none of these signs of progress would become parts of reality. The point is, He stood upon his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
hence
he knew the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
should
be abandoned
to attain enormous amount of benefits.
Consequently
, why should we not follow his lead?

Moreover
, the regulations established in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
nowadays
are written
by the authorities who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot understand the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
efficiently
.
Therefore
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
assembled statutes are not
appropriately
designed to confront
Possible spelling mistake found.
Teenagers&
#039; needs.
For example
, In Iran, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
prohibits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
to have parties despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
require these parties in order to release their extra energy and satisfy their desire for adventures.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
choose their destiny by themselves. Obeying limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
is neither a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way nor a perfect option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
salvation.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to act
freely
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is not a waste of social potential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
blooming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion, middle-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
follow their dreams.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 52 The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts