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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.344

The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 344
Teenager is the most important age because they have no experience enough to be an adult. It is easiest to influence them in the worst situations. There are two views of these topics, some people believe that family is the most significant for younger generations, but some disagree, they believe that friends are the most necessary. So, I strongly agree that the first views. Since every child born, the family is the early unit that children can perceive. In the normal way, the first person that baby knows was their parents. Moreover, children always spent time at home in their first ages. The people who believe that, in a good family, when children have got a problem, they usually tell their parents. The main reason is their parents always understanding their children and give some advices and best recommendation to children. Although they grow up, parents still the best counsellor for them. Nevertheless, some people argue that when children grow up in teenager aged, their environment will be totally changed. They spent most of their life in school. Consequently, when the problem occurred, they always ask their friends more than their parents. For example, if teenagers have friends who love to study, they always study together. Some young adults think that their parents have an ineffective answer than their friends who have their same age. In conclusion, there are many factors to influence juvenile, family and friends. However, the love of family is the best ways to affect them. In my view, friends have more power only short times, but family always impacts them all their life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenager
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be an adult. It is easiest to influence them in the worst situations. There are two views of these topics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the most significant for younger generations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree, they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are the most necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
first
views.

Since every child born, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the early unit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can perceive. In the normal way, the
first
person that baby knows was their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always spent time at home in their
first
ages. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that, in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a problem, they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The main reason is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always understanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advices and best recommendation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Although they grow up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
still
the best
Possible spelling mistake. 'counsellor' is British English.
counsellor
for them.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
aged, their environment will be
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. They spent most of their life in school.
Consequently
, when the problem occurred, they always ask their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
more than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to study, they always study together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
young adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have an ineffective answer than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who have their same age.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors to influence juvenile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the best ways to affect them. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have more power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
short times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
always impacts them all their life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 344

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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