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do you agree or disagree? the rules that societies expect that young people should follow and obey are too strict v.111

the rules that societies expect that young people should follow and obey are too strict v. 111
Since the beginning of the last century, the world has enjoyed a massive atmosphere of freedom. Some people believe that societies' rules are too strict for young people nowadays; however, there is a substantial body of evidence that casts doubts on this belief. From a personal perspective, rules that youngsters should follow today are imperative given that it has a positive impact on their behaviors, personality, and contributions. The first and foremost point, rules can diminish the number of adverse behaviors. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on what was stated above in the United States the prohibition of alcohols and tobacco for juniors under the age of 21 discouraged many teenagers to drink or smoke; In addition to that, the age of driving has increased in some states to 18 years, which increased the safety of the roads in these states. To put in another way, many rules are set with the attention of warning young people no to go down a dark path. Consequently, rules will benefit youth significantly in the future. Next, coupled with good behaviors, mental-well being is another benefit of rules; likewise, rules can be a way to discipline children. For instance, in California, kids have legal protections against bullying at schools, which benefits kids with learning and attention issues. Provided that kids suffer from bullying, they could lose their self-confidence; thus, rules could protect kids and put an immediate stop to some bad behaviors. Therefore, strict standards are crucial for young people' s personalities. One final point, rules could encourage children to help their communities. For example, many universities in the United States have specific prerequisites for graduation, which are doing volunteer jobs that contribute to societies. Although some students frustrated by these rules, they could enhance their experience and expand their knowledge. Moreover, rules help youngsters to take responsibility and get accustomed to help their communities. As a result, following rules is essential. Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt, the rules that societies today expect young people to obey are not too strict; on the contrary, they are beneficial. It is suggested that youngsters compromise and ensure that they follow rules.
Since the beginning of the last century, the world has enjoyed a massive atmosphere of freedom.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
societies&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are too strict for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays;
however
, there is a substantial body of evidence that casts doubts on this belief. From a personal perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that youngsters should follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are imperative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
, personality, and contributions.

The
first
and foremost point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
can diminish the number of adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what
was stated
above in the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
the prohibition of alcohols and tobacco for juniors under the age of 21 discouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to drink or smoke;
In addition
to that, the age of driving has increased in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
to 18 years, which increased the safety of the roads in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
. To put in another way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are set
with the attention of warning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
to go down a dark path.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
will benefit youth
significantly
in the future.

Next
, coupled with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
, mental-well being is another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
;
likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
can be a way to discipline children.
For instance
, in California,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have legal protections against bullying at schools, which benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
with learning and attention issues. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
suffer from bullying, they could lose their self-confidence;
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
could protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and put an immediate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
.
Therefore
, strict standards are crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s personalities.

One final point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
could encourage children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their communities.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities in the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
have specific prerequisites for graduation, which are doing volunteer jobs that contribute to societies. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students frustrated by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, they could enhance their experience and expand their knowledge.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youngsters to take responsibility and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their communities.
As a result
, following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
is essential.

Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to obey are not too strict;
on the contrary
, they are beneficial. It
is suggested
that youngsters compromise and ensure that they follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay the rules that societies expect that young people should follow and obey are too strict v. 111

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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